Email From Customer:

It was a total disaster. I read your book twice. It all seemed very logical and I thought it would work. I did find out my son does have control as he held it for 4-5 hours on several occasions this weekend. The practicing just led to a dislike of the potty. A few times I could tell he needed to go and sat him on the potty (this is the 2nd or 3rd day) and he would sit there and not go. Then when I would let him leave the bathroom he would immediately wet his pants somewhere else. And the wet pants didn't bother him either. At one point he made a big puddle in my kitchen and wanted to swim in it. He keeps saying I did it already so maybe he doesn't get that he should do it every time.

I'm sure this works for most people and I'm not trying to cut down your product. The doll worked just as expected. My son did get jealous of the doll and wanted to dolls treat (matchbox car) This was getting so disruptive I said Scotty said he really wasn't into cars and my son could have it. When my son went on the potty the first time he didn't want Scotty at his party. He pulled Scotty off the table threw him behind the couch and replaced him with another stuffed animal.

Am I missing something? He hides behind the couch when he has to make a BM. I asked him to use the potty and he just screamed and said no. I didn't want to forcefully take him there but did follow up with the practicing.

He's going to be 3 next month. He is very big for his age and I'm getting to where I can't go out with him as a one time urination overflows the diaper and then I have to change his pants as well. He is 47 pounds - I'm not sure on height but he is as big as the 5 year old next door. He's not fat just tall and large for his age. There was no way he could use the potty that came with Scotty. I'm just mentioning that so you get an idea on his size.

Lisa

Our Response:

Lisa, I am so sorry to hear that this did not work for you. As you know I am not an pediatrician and my suggestions and advice below are simply based on my experience.

So, after reading your email a number of times, here are my thoughts.

First thing I want you to know is that your son wants to do what you want him to do - he wants to please you. Think about how you feel about your parents even as an adult. No matter our age, we want to please our parents and we want to them to feel proud of us and what we have accomplished. So, you son wants to please you, but for some reason (we need to figure this out) he cannot and he is getting frustrated.

This frustration is what you see - he is mad at Scotty, because Scotty did what you wanted him to do. Scotty pleased you and your son could not, so he is mad at Scotty. What do you think? Do you think that this may be the reason for his behavior?

Your son is clearly ready from a physiological perspective to be potty trained. I am however not sure that he is ready from an emotional growth perspective. I have been doing more research on this and wrote an article that was just posted on the website yesterday - Emotional growth and social awareness are hardest to gauge. Read through the article and let me know if this makes sense.

I am not sure what to recommend going forward, because I am not sure what you did after this. What are you doing now? Have you gone back to diapers?

Sometimes is it easier to work out the next steps with a phone conversation. If you would like to chat, you can give me call at 713-436-4464.

I hope this has been helpful. Please let me know.

Narmin

Email From Customer:

Thanks for the response. You sure have been very supportive. I had actually had already read that article but I read it again. I think the following is what is going on:

Sometimes, the need to control one's own body and environment are manifested in undesirable ways such as hiding when s/he has the urge to have a BM, or having an accident for the sheer satisfaction of making the decision on where to go potty or withholding stool and becoming constipated. When your child is in this phase of self mastery, back off and try again later when s/he moved into the more positive phase of self mastery.

He does hide when he has the urge to have a BM. He also completely ignores people and won't respond if the subject matter is not something of his liking. So maybe I should hold off for a while. I did go back to diapers because I work full time and after my 3 day weekend didn't really produce any results I knew my husband would not bother with all the effort of taking him to the potty 9 nines after every accident. I think we did make a little headway as he has a house with a potty in it and he sometimes says the little person in it needs to go on the potty.

Well I can't thank you enough for all your support. Is there some kind of behavior I should be looking for to gauge if he is in a more positive phase of self-mastery? Thanks again. I wish you the best in your business venture. I wish more vendors were as responsive as you.

Lisa