Bowel Movement Resistance - Not pooping in the potty!
So what do you do if you child will not go or refuses to go poop in the potty or the toilet.
I hear from moms who tell me that their child will pee in the potty - so in fact the child will urinate in the potty consistently, but when it comes to bowel movements - they simple will not go.
They will have a bowel movement in their pull ups or underwear, but not in the potty or the toilet. No way. Nothing doing.
So what should parents do in this case?
There are three things you can never make your child do:
If you have read the article on the best rewards for potty training, you know that your child wants to do what you want. S/he really does want to poop in the potty because s/he knows that, that is what you want and not only will it make you the parent really proud of your child, but the child will feel that s/he has accomplished something worthy because s/he met his/her parents' expectations. So that indeed is the good news.
So what is stopping your child from pooping in the potty? There could be several reason why your child is resistant to potty training and to BM training.
Dr Greene, who is a pediatrician calls this the D3 cycle - discomfort, dread and delay.
Children may end up in this cycle because they had a negative or uncomfortable experience with bowel movement. This may have been because of constipation or change in diet or it could be a fear of the toilet and/or flusing or simply delaying a BM because they are too preoccupied with something else way more interesting.
What ever triggered the start of this - the result of this negative or painful experience is that the next time the child has the urge to poop, s/he will delay going because s/he knows that it hurts. The delay leads to discomfort. The discomfort to dread and the dread leads right back to delay.
In order to move forward, this D3 cycle must be broken.
So, sometimes going back to diapers can break the D3 cycle. The child relaxes, the stool get soft and the tension disappears. Bowel movements come regularly and without the protest. This is often when parents come looking for answers.
In the child's mind - they have decided that diapers are good - no pain with diapers and it hurts to go poop in the potty - so potties are bad.
Add Your Comment
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No help at all, 8.10.2009
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Reviewer: Nonny (Phoenix, AZ)
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This article doesn't say anything about when the stool is nice and soft, and it's plain outright defiance. We will take my child to the potty, and ten minutes later she will grin and announce she is pooping her pants. It's soft as always and gets everywhere. It's not aversion - she does it on purpose. It's BS to claim that kids always want to do what the parents expect. Although I'd love to visit that alternate dimension someday.
My child is over 3 and her preschool is about to hold her back because she won't poo in the potty. I am trying to convince her it's important and she's going to miss out if she continues to refuse. I am trying every tactic you can name. I am desperate. Something has got to work, sooner or later.
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Same old problem, 7.15.2009
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Reviewer: Mom in Texas (Irving, Tx)
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my two-year-old boy still poops wherever he pleases and we went back to the diaper for a while. I also didn't find this article very helpful considering that is the only tidbit of advice you gave and I had figured it out on my own.
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Frustrated in New York, 7.3.2009
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Reviewer: Marie (Nanuet, NY)
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My four year old is refusing to use the potty to have a BM.
After consulting his pediatrician we are giving him a stool softner and made changes in his diet.
However, he is refusing to sit on the toilet after each meal.
This is a very frustrating situation.
I am now putting a long t-shirt on him and no underwears.
I am hoping that will react and want to use the toilet for his bowel movements.
PTC Comments:
This behaviour of refusing to sit on the toilet is referred to as nonretentive encopresis.
Please see our whole section on Encropresis, including the causes and treatement of encopersis.
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Tried this and failed!, 3.28.2009
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Reviewer: Andrea (, )
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I babysit my niece and she will not poop in the potty.
We have tried every method.
My sister in law recently read this and tried to revert back to the pull ups.
Well now my niece thinks she no longer needs to pee in the potty because she has on a pull up.
So for us this method didn't work as we had hoped.
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please help, 2.19.2009
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Reviewer: sharon lawson (austin , texas)
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my 4 yrar old grand daughter will not have a bm in the towlit we have a seat that fits over it when she she needs to have a bm she hides and cross her legs im vary worried something might bve wrong we took her to dr thay just gave laxative why dose she cross her legs all her mother has for her is medicade and and i fell the dr are not good im really worried about her please help sharon
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