Help! My Son Won't Take a Potty Break!

Do you find yourself fighting with your child over potty breaks?

Are you cleaning up numerous "potty accidents" because your "trained" child refuses to take a break?

Or how about those emergency races to the bathroom?

Does your child suddenly have the urge to go when you've just asked him to take a break?

How can you get through to your little one that they need to be responsible for their bathroom breaks?

Here's some guidelines to follow when trying to teach your child to initiate a bathroom break.

1. Make your expectations of the behavior clear and unemotional.

2. Let them know it's time... without being punitive. Do not use threats. Use questions that remind such as "What haven't we done in a while?"

3. Identify your child's currency, and keep in mind it can change frequently! Currency is what makes us tick. For adults it's almost always money. For children it could be a particular activity, TV show, game, or snack. What makes your child really excited? Explain to your child they need to earn their currency by choosing the desired behavior (initiating a potty break).

4. Give choices with consequences. Communicate the effect, limit, and consequences of your child's behavior. Let your child know you expect them to go to the potty before they feel the sudden urge. Let them know accidents are the result of choosing not to go to the potty on time, and they carry with them the consequence of losing a privilege.

5. Pick your words carefully - ask for help, ask "what are we going to do about this?" Don't ask why? Ask what happens now? What do you need to do now? What will you choose to do next time?

6. Give yourself a break. If your child is strongly rebelling, take a break and let the phase pass. A break may also be in order if your child is not ready for potty training, so consider this a possibility.

7. Encourage big boy/big girl behavior. Kids that are ready to be trained are emotionally and socially in tune with their peers. They want to be like their friends and older family members. And they thrive on parental approval.

Here are some specific ideas that have worked for other parents:

1. Try toilet targets

2. Use bathtub crayons to mark the inside of the toilet bowl with motivating numbers, letters, or figures.

3. Have the child clean up the accident

4. Sing a potty song . We sang "When we have to pee-pee, we go to the potty, because we like dry pants and wet pants are icky" - The poo-poo verse says messy pants are icky.. Tune of "Little Bunny Foo-Foo".

5. Eliminate the child's right to participate in the activity he refused to break from when he had the accident until he demonstrates willingness to take a break.

6. Slow your pace down - - don't race from destination to destination. Kids need to be able to relax, feel secure, and know you'll be there for them when they are done.

REMEMBER:

Kid's naturally think "I'll try harder next time" meaning they will hold it better next time, rather than going sooner. You have to help your child shift their way of thinking from "I'll try harder" to "I'll change my approach and go more often/sooner".

BE SURE:

If potty accidents are frequent, consider your child may not be ready to potty train. Also be sure to rule out medical issues by talking to your child's pediatrician.