So what do you do if you child will not go or refuses to go poop in the potty or the toilet. I hear from moms who tell me that their child will pee in the potty - so in fact the child will urinate in the potty consistently, but when it comes to bowel movements - they simple will not go. They will have a bowel movement in their pull ups or underwear, but not in the potty or the toilet. No way. Nothing doing. So what should parents do in this case?

There are three things you can never make your child do

• Eat
• Sleep
• Go potty!

If you have read the article on the best rewards for potty training, you know that your child wants to do what you want. S/he really does want to poop in the potty because s/he knows that, that is what you want and not only will it make you the parent really proud of your child, but the child will feel that s/he has accomplished something worthy because s/he met his/her parents' expectations. So that indeed is the good news.

So what is stopping your child from pooping in the potty? There could be several reason why your child is resistant to potty training and to BM training.

Dr Greene, who is a pediatrician calls this the D3 cycle - discomfort, dread and delay.

Children may end up in this cycle because they had a negative or uncomfortable experience with bowel movement. This may have been because of constipation or change in diet or it could be a fear of the toilet and/or flusing or simply delaying a BM because they are too preoccupied with something else way more interesting.

What ever trigger the start of this - the result of this negative or painful experience is that the next time the child has the urge to poop, s/he delay going because s/he knows that it hurts. The delay leads to discomfort. the discomform to dread and the dread leads right back to delay.

In order to move forward, this D3 cycle must be broken.

So, sometimes going back to diapers can break the D3 cycle. The child relaxes, the stool get soft and the tension dissappears. Bowel movements come regularly and without the protest. This is often when parents come looking for answers. In the child's mind - they have decides that diapers are good - no pain with diaper and it hurts to go poop in the potty - so potties are bad.

more to come.....