DURHAM , NC - Many parents who are anxious to have their 2-year olds out of diapers become frustrated with potty training. However, toilet training can be a positive learning experience for parents and children, provided the process is begun when the child, not the parents, is ready.
"Parents are highly motivated to toilet train because they want their children to grow up - maybe there's a new sibling on the way, maybe they don't like changing diapers, or maybe they are getting pressure from grandparents to toilet train" said Barbara Howard, M.D., a pediatrician and behavior and development expert at Duke Children's Hospital.
"What parents need to realize is that children cannot control these body functions until they are neurological and cognitively mature, which usually happen between ages 2 and 2 1/2 but can occur earlier or later" she said.
Howard had developed a standard list of skills that parents can check to determine whether their child is ready. "Sign of Readiness" include:
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an understanding of what the toilet if for;
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language or signs (such as pointing) to indicate the need to use the toilet;
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motor skills to get oneself to the toilet and on it;
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the ability to stay dry for at least two hours after a diaper change;
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fine motor skills to get clothing off and on;
- and an interest in modeling or pleasing parents.
"The relationship between the child and the parents is important because toilet training can set the tone for communication with the family," Howard said. "Toilet training involves gender identity, privacy and ideas about who's in charge of the child's body and life. If carried out in a coercive way, toilet training can set off negative reactions that may affect a child's mental health"
Howard suggest parents begin "toilet learning" from the moment the child is born. "Parents should be talking about these normal body functions and labeling different body parts and conditions of voiding - such as by saying 'You're wet' to an infant. Parents should also adopt simple words for these functions, such as pee and poop."
When the child is 10 months or older, parent should encourage modeling by allowing the child to watch a parent or sibling in the bathroom. "Often children will train themselves later by modeling an older sibling's behavior," Howard said.
As the child approaches 2, parents should begin to look for the readiness signs and a pattern in the child's voiding habits. Howard suggests training for bowel movements first because they are easier to anticipate. |
