Potty Training a 3 Year Old Boy

Question from a parent:

I have a three year old son.

We are working on potty training.For the most part he does well with it with only a few accidents.But he doesn't normally tell me when he needs to go when we are at home.It is usually with me just taking him.If we are away from home he will tell me.I need some suggestions as to how to get him to tell me at home.He will be going to pre-school in a couple of months and will be in the three year old class if he is potty trained.

Thank you,

mom in Texas

Our Response:

Hello Mom in Texas ,

My first question to you would be - what is your three year old son wearing at home?  Away from home?  Do you have in disposable diapers or pull ons or in cloth training pants?  I would recommend that you stop using disposables and move to just cloth training pants.

From the very brief email, I would suggest that your son does not have a reason to tell you that he has to go potty when you are at home.  Your son obviously knows what to do and is very capable of holding it long enough to find a potty when you are away from home - this tells me that he is ready and knows what to do - but chooses not to do this at home.

As Dr. Phil says - your son needs to be able to make a choice at home as well i.e. he has to have a reason to go potty.  Your three year old has to be will do a less desirable thing (take the time out of what he is doing to go potty) to access more desirable things (some thing he really values). You have to consequence his behavior.

So, you might try making him do practice runs when he has an accident.  Or you might trying a potty training chart - with progressive build up to a something he really desires i.e. 5 or 10 or whatever you decide successful trip to the potty on his own will getting him a lunch out, or a new toy or something like that.  You may also want to try taking something away when he has an accident i.e. he looses the privilege of playing with his favorite toy or watching his favorite show if he has an accident.  CONSISTENCY in applying consequences for behavior is the key.

I hope these tips help you out.  Let us know how it goes.

Have a great holiday weekend.

Narmin