Potty Training Regression - Before I Go Back to Pull Ups!

Question from Parent:

I have a daughter who will be 3 in july , she has been totally trained since jan/06. about 2 months ago started having occassional accidents which increased in frequency, this was only happening during the day. I have tried everything from staying calm & explaining that she needs to go to the bathroom, to removing something she really likes & rewarding her with it at night if she stayed dry all day & nothing is working.She is now having bowel accidents which is new it was always just urine before. We take her to the bathroom at least every hour but she will not tell us when she needs to go. I have let her stay wet in cotton panties & nothing bothers her. Her response to why , is because i want to . Any suggestions as i am at the end of the line of what to do. Right now we are back to pull-up's & that is not working it is getting worse & so is my frustration level.

Bernice

Our Response:

Bernice,

From just reading your email, it is hard for me to tell you exactly why she is doing,.  Have you talked to her pediatrician?  What did the doctors have to say?

The thought I had is that one of the child developmental stages that a toddler goes through is the desire to master one's own body and environment.  See the article on Potty Training Resistance - and more specifically the sections on Independence and Control Issues and Too much pressure to perform.

So, if you think that these may be some of the reasons; then I would suggest that you just back off for a little while - say a couple of weeks.  Let her feel the control over her body.  Don't show your frustration and see if that gives her the sense of control back and then makes her want to use the potty again.

I hope this helps.  Please let us know how things go.

Narmin