Email From Customer:

My son has started to regress in the potty training department he was fine up until about 2 months ago and I need to know what to do to help him get through it I don't want to punish him because that doesn't seem to be working but he waits until the last minute before he will go so that's an accident then he will stand right in front of you to use the bathroom and then say he used it. What to do?

Stacy

Our Response:

Stacy,

Have you had a chance to read the section of potty training regression?

Also, our blog has a lot of questions and answers on regression so reading that may provide you with tips on how to handle you son's potty training regression.

Narmin

Email From Customer:

Hi Narmin! We have been trying to potty train my daughter, Ruby, since May 22nd where we attempted to train in one day...she did well after seeing Potty Patty go once in the potty, however, she has not been consistent and has had several accidents including BM. She isn't quite 2 and 1/2 - she was born on... I think we should stop and start again in a few weeks, however, my husband doesn't agree. I have asked Ruby about going back to diapers and she doesn't want to...any ideas or suggestions?

Julia

Our Response:

Hello Julia,

I am sorry to hear that Ruby is struggling with potty training. Usually, when children are struggling, there is a good reason behind it; the challenge for parents is figuring out what is the reason behind the struggle.

I am guessing that you reviewed all the readiness signals and were comfortable that she was ready? Here is the link to some details behind readiness, and if you feel that she is indeed ready, then go on (I have suggestion below) and if not, then stop.

If you think that she is indeed ready, but is struggling for other reasons, then this article will hopefully help in identifying the reason for her struggle. Once you know why she is struggling, then you can come up with a plan to address that issue and hopefully that will get her over the hurdle.

I hope these suggestions and articles help you decide (objectively!!) whether you should you stop or continue.

Please keep me informed and as always, I am here if you have any other questions.

Hope you are having a great day.

Narmin

Email From Customer:

Thanks Narmin! I re-read the materials and took them home to my husband...when I got home, our housekeeper told me that Ruby had used the potty twice yesterday and again once I got home.. We celebrated and gave her a "potty" sticker to place in her special book. The only hurdle we have now is for her to poop in potty as she didn't use the potty for her poop yesterday...thank you again for all your help and support. I will keep you posted on Ruby's challenges and successes!

Julia

Email From Customer:

I have received everything and I read thru the handbook last night. I have 2 questions.

1. I am not sure I understand the 9 times....I get it by meaning that Patty had an accident so now she needs to practice 9 times but what is she practicing and in what time span...

2. My daughter has had issues with holding everything in...She mad her self sick a week ago, which was the same day I placed the order for this doll. I plan on having our big day perhaps next weekend to allow some more time to go by since this incident. I want my daughter to get excited about the big day and I wanted to show her the doll and explain what we are going to do.

Do you think this is going to cause her more anxiety...???

PS...my daughter is 3 1/2 years old.

Lisa

Our Response:

Hello Lisa,

Re: practice runs - the goal is provide a consequence that your child will not like and this consequence builds muscle memory. So basically, after you clean up i.e. change doll or child into clean underwear - you make them run to the potty from different parts of the house to simulate what they would do if they had to go potty....so do the first couple of runs from where she had the accident, but then move out to different parts of the house - i.e. if Patty was watching TV and had to potty what would she do? She would run to the potty - pull her pants down and go potty. Basically running to the potty - pulling pant down - sitting on the potty and then getting up and pulling the pants back up...takes on a few seconds...the whole 9-10 practice runs would take less than 5 mins. if your child is cooperative. If you child is having tantrums, let them finish the tantrum and then finish the left over runs. I hope this make sense - if not let me know.

Re: holding issues or potty training resistance - if she is holding it - then she may not be ready for potty training or if she is resisting than they may be other reasons.

I would like you to read this readiness article, especially the part on social and emotional readiness - if it is a control issue - then wait a while until she is out of this phase.

If it is not control issues - then you need to know why she is resisting. This article may help you identify the reason she is holding back and once you know why she is holding back, then you can start the address the reason.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. You know where to reach me if you have more questions!!

Narmin

Email From Customer:

Hello,

I have a 2 year old daughter who I'm trying to toilet train. She is having many accidents and I'm not sure why. For that last little while she has been communicating that she has done pee or poo in her diaper and wants to be changed right away. Because we were having our house painted I thought that I would start the process once everything was done. I started training her yesterday. I tried Monday and Tuesday but because we went out she wore a pull up. My problem is that she pees or poos and then cries and then tell me that she peed herself. I take her to the toilet and sit her on the toilet and tell her that pee should be done in the toilet not in her pants. I say it in a very calm voice. She then will take me to the place where she had peed to show me the floor so that I can clean up the mess.

My questions are:

Why is she doing this?

Should I use a potty instead of the toilet? She had gone on the toilet before that's why I thought it would be best.

How do I make her understand that she needs to tell me before she goes pee or poo?

If and when we go out shopping for example should I use a pull up? And for sleeping as well?

I'm really desperate because I'm expecting another child in 2 weeks so I'm short for time.

Please help me.

RLM

Our Response:

Hello RLM,

I can sense the frustration in your email, and I can assure you that your daughter is feeling just as frustrated because she really does want to do what you want her to do, but for some reason is unable to.

I would recommend that you read this article on potty training resistance.

I hope that it helps you in determining why she is resisting using the potty.

Confusion may be the issue or it may be inappropriate potty training technique. You need to identify what is causing the concern and then work on resolving it.

Also, this article on a child's perspective on potty training.

It gives you her perspective on the problem, she had a lot to learn and put together. Potty Training is a developmental skill that children acquire in time, so if they are not able to connect all the dots, then asking them to go on the potty each time is like asking a child to run when they cannot yet walk.

To answer some of your questions:

I recommend using a Potty Chair first and then a Potty Seat. The reason for this is that a potty chair can be placed close to the child. It is easier for the child when they don't have to figure out a route to the bathroom.

Also, a potty chair is closer to the ground and the sphincter muscle has to be relaxed to enable elimination and sitting with your feet planted on the ground enables the muscles to relax a lot easier than when the legs are dangling.

RE: telling you that she has to go, your goal for her should be to have her potty independently of you. You should be setting up her environment such that she can go potty when she needs to go and should not have to look for you and tell you that she has to go potty.

RE: what to use when shopping and sleeping - my personal preference and recommendation is to switch from using diapers and pull ups to cloth potty training pants. This can be very challenging, so a lot depends on the potty training method you select. Potty Training in One Day is of course my favorite method and supports moving away from diapers & pull ups very easy. Switching back and forth between cloth and disposable may be confusing to your child.

Last but not least, I am not sure if you are using a specific potty training method or technique with your child. I would recommend selecting a technique that you think suits you and your family, then create a plan on how you will implement this technique and then go ahead with it and you will see positive results.

I hope this has been helpful to you. Do let me know what your thoughts were after reading this information.

Hope you are having a great weekend.

Narmin Parpia