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Rachel Kopecky (Unregistered Guest)
| | Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 06:36 pm: | |
Hi,
I am at whits end. I have a 5 1/2yr old boy who should be completly potty trained but isn't. He will pee in the potty every time but pooping is another story. Its not that he won't go in the potty. He doesn't want to stop and go. I have tried everything from rewarding to deciplining. I even talked to the pediatrician...she said that I needed to reprogram him...to do that I had to give him maloxx everyday at the same time. Well that didn't work...only mad a bigger mess. I have even seen him sit on the floor doing nothing and will poop in his pants. As soon as I realize what he is doing I send him straight to the bathroom and make him finish and take care of his own bottom and clothes. I have made him throw his dirty underware away. I have stop giving him underware...I have done everything I can think of and nothing seems to help. It would take up a lot of room to tell of everything that we have tried. My mom doesn't even know what to do. With the little help I got from the Dr. I figured I would turn to the internet for some help. Please Help
Rachel |
Narmin Parpia
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 01:44 pm: | |
Hi Rachel,
I can appreciate your struggle. It is always frustrating to be facing a situation with your child that seems to be a complete battle of the wills, especially when the situation seems to last and last.
Let me assure you, the efforts you have made to date are right on. To be certain you aren't dealing with a medical issue, you might want to try charting your son's BM activity - - Was the BM normal, loose, or firm? What did he eat that day? What was he doing at the time of the accident? What discipline or response to the accident was given? And what was your son's reaction? You can use this chart to discuss your son's situation with your doctor. It would be good to follow up with her to let her know the progress (or lack of progress) your son has made since your last visit.
Do you think it's possible your son is fearful of using the potty? Some children develop irrational fears that lead to accidents. The problem is not the potty training but rather the fear. While he's comfortable going pee in the potty he may not be comfortable sitting to poop. Does he stand to go potty? Talk to him to see if he is fearful and if so, exactly what are his fears? Keep in mind, you won't be able to rationalize with him. In other words you won't be able to talk him out of the fear simply by telling him, for example, "there's nothing to be afraid of". You will have to work through the fear with him by taking little steps, reassuring him along the way. A couple of things that might help if he is fearful - - one mother had luck using a step-up seat.
Finally, once you have eliminated medical and fear issues, and are confident you are dealing with a behavioral issue, I recommend Dr. Phil's method of Parenting with Currency to communicate just how serious you are. Be certain you've identified just what makes your son tick. What won't he break away from? Remove his rights to play with that item or continue that activity for an extended period of time - - maybe a full day. He has a BM in his pants, you eliminate the currency until the next day when he has another opportunity to try again. Eventually he will realize you are serious.
Please let us know how things progress. Good luck in your efforts and hang in there!
Narmin |
Rachel Kopecky (Unregistered Guest)
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 11:27 pm: | |
Thank you for all the information. I have done all of this. I don't know what to do. The doctor doesn't seem to be worried about it. He doesn't have any problems going when I catch him early enough. He never finishes pooping in his pants...its like he has to go but he is trying to hold it(because he just doesn't want to get up and go) a little comes out and then he regains control and just doesn't need to go anymore. So he usually only has a simi small amount. I just can't get him to stop holding it and just go. We have tried rewarding him, we have tried taking things away from him...tv time, money, his toys, even wouldn't let him go swimming when everyone else was. I don't know what to do. I plan to talk to the doctor again the next time we go. I just thought that I would give it a try and talk with someone else about this. My youngest sister who is 12 years old has the same problem...even down to that she just doesn't want to get up and go. My mother just chooses to ignore the problem she has. I am NOT going to ignore this problem with my son. Again thank you for your help. If you feel that you might have some other information please share. I will try just about anything and am pulling at straws with this. Thank you so much! Rachel |
Narmin Parpia
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 22, 2006 - 03:38 pm: | |
Hi Rachel,
Don't give up! I commend you for your efforts to date.
There are a few other articles you might want to read. One about constipation and one about encopresis.
You may also want to take your son to a pediatric gastroenterologist.
Best of luck to you, and please let us know how it goes so we can pass your experience and solution (I know you'll find one) on to other struggling moms.
Narmin |
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