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Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 - 12:22 am: | |
I have a son who will be 3 in 2 months. He has been potty trained for a month or so on his potty chair. He pees standing up and likes to still poop in a diaper or his underwear. He is afraid to pee or poop in the large toilet. This isn't my largest issue though. He has peed in the grass a few times due to emergency, and now he will pee nowhere else. He held his urine today at preschool for 9 hrs. He regularly holds his pee for 4 hrs at a time or more. He does not have accidents anymore. He won't even go in a pull up/diaper. I let him go in the grass at home because I am afraid he is going to create a medical problem if he doesn't go. Should I continue with positive reinforcement or should I start taking away privelages? We have always let him set his own pace for potty training and it has worked-but this is crazy!!! |
Narmin Parpia
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 - 12:08 pm: | |
To: Mom of Outdoor Toddler
Your situation is one that at first thought might produce a giggle. But when it becomes a daily occurrence it's not so funny.
My sister had the same problem. Her son was outdoor playing in the sandbox - - the wet sandbox no-less. He suddenly had to go pee. In a pinch she encouraged him to go outside. From that point on they battled over him wanting to go outside. The difference in her situation is, she immediately put a stop to it. She had to listen to him whine a few times, but he eventually got the message.
I understand your concerns about him holding too long and the risk of infection. But from his perspective this is more about control - - not bladder control either. He's asserting himself and he's winning.
Try turning the tables by making a sport of things indoors. Toilet targets are a great option. Or, if you would rather, using a bathtub crayon, draw numbers, letters, or figures inside the toilet bowl and have your son aim for those. The idea is to make the indoor experience as unique and exciting as the outdoor experience.
If he continues to pee outdoors he will be faced with social scrutiny as others learn of his behavior. And for you, the challenge of setting boundaries will continue to exist. How far are you willing to let this go? To what age? What about when you are at the park? There have been instances when parents have been fined for their children urinating in public. Not to mention the precedence you are setting regarding boundaries Mom and Dad have set.
Regarding his fear of the toilet, and his resistance to sit down to go poop, be sure he has a comfortable seat or chair that fits him properly. Use a step stool, seat with a built-in step, or a potty chair to be sure his feet don't dangle. Read about the different benefits of chairs and seats and then chose the one that is best for your needs. Keep in mind bowel movement training can be less confusing if your son learns to pee sitting down.
As a Mom I often catch myself wanting to take the path of least resistance. Sometimes it's not until I reach that unseen mountain around the bend that I realize I should have taken the road with the small hills instead.
Good luck to you. Keep a watchful eye out for an infection, but don't let fear push your boundaries. Thank you for sharing your experience, and please let us know how it turns out.
Narmin |
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