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(Unregistered Guest)
| | Posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 01:24 pm: | |
Hi,
I have a 3 1/2 year old girl. I have tried to train her when she was 3 1month but it turned out that we needed to back off because she would cry when she was urinating because she was kind of scared of the sound and the letting go process.
Now, since about 2 weeks she started out wanting to wear underwear so we let her. She keeps on holding the pee back for 12 hours and more or she resists to go to the potty. When she sits on the big toilet (that's what she choose) she can't relax and let it go. She does the potty dance for hours and just wants to sit on her bottom to make it easier not to have to urinate. We had about 3-4 good days but then she totally went backwards. She wanted to wear diapers again. So I let her to give myself a break for a couple of days. She has all the readiness signs and is very smart. It looks to me that she is very headstrong and wants to prove her point in holding the pee back. All the rewards and trips to Disneyland don't work.
I am really running out of ideas. My first daughter trained in 1 1/2 when she was about 2 3/4 years old. A breeze.
Do you have any ideas what I could do different?
Thanks, Edith |
Narmin Parpia
New member
Username: Narmin
Post Number: 5
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 07:41 pm: | |
Hello Edith,
Your daughter definitely sounds like she is suffering from an overall fear of going potty. Agreed, this fear may be complicated by a strong will. The good news is, she sounds like she has developed the control necessary to become trained. So, I have a few suggestions to help you achieve a potty trained child.
First, I realize she made the choice to use the big toilet, and it is more convenient, but consider your daughter's resistance. She might be more comfortable using a potty chair. Do you at least use a potty seat for her? If not, there are many to choose from that will give her a feeling of comfort and security. This may be a simple solution to her inability to relax and overall resistance to take a potty break.
Next, it is critical that you do not revert back to diapers or even pull-ups once you start training. If you do, you send your child a mixed signal. Kids will think it is O.K. to use a diaper once you put them back in it. Realize from her perspective you were asking her to go on the potty, then you agreed to put her back in diapers, and now you expect her to know she should use the potty again. Intelligence aside, all children need consistency, especially when it comes to potty training.
It is so hard but this is the critical point which requires the most stamina on your part. She knows that big girl pants equate to going on the potty and diapers equate to being given permission to use them. So, don't give her that signal.
Does your daugther look up to her older sister? Try encouraging your little one to be like her big sister.
And as far as rewards go, a child's currency changes frequently. Especially at the young age of three. So as a parent we have to be on constant watch to know what really makes our kid tick. Pick the wrong reward and it won't help. Pick a privilege that they will have access to anyway and it won't work. Your child has to understand and believe the only way she is going to get that reward is to produce the desired behavior, that being using the potty.
Give it another go-around and let me know how it turns out. I wish you the best of luck!
Narmin |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Monday, September 10, 2007 - 11:53 pm: | |
Hi! My daughter is 27 months old and has a definite fear of releasing on the potty. I started training her a week ago and she just will not go on the potty. She has been wearing underwear for the week and consistantly tells me when she has to go. We will go to the bathroom, pull down her underwear and she will sit until she feels she is going to release. She then stands up, and pulls her underwear back up. Five minutes later, she will once again tell me that she has to go and the process continues. She ends up holding her pee and doing the potty dance for hours. She is in so much pain that she cries hysterically and wants me to hold her constantly. If I don't hold her or I put her down for a few seconds she cries uncontrolably. So there's really nothing I can do, but wait for her to go. I try to distract her a million different ways, but nothing works. She ends up urinating all over me when she just can't hold it any longer. I read the posting and response to "She holds her pee for hours" and our situation seems very similar. I know you suggested to not go back to diapers or training pants because it will confuse her, but I can't let her go on in this manner. I don't think it is healthy or emotionally appropriate to allow this to continue. If I stop the training process for a month or so, do you think it would be okay to go back to diapers or to start using training pants? I have never used training pants. We went from diapers to underwear. I don't want to confuse her because I have been telling her to use the potty for the past week, but she is just in so much pain when she holds it. What do you suggest? |
erica fenner
New member
Username: Shortstuff71
Post Number: 1
Registered: 06-2008
| | Posted on Monday, June 16, 2008 - 11:38 pm: | |
Hi, writing to you about my boyfriends 4 1/2 old son who he has full custody of. We have no problem with him going pee. It's going poo on the toilet. He used the toilet for a week but went back to going in his pants. My boyfriend had no choice but to put him in pull ups. Few weeks ago we caught him just before he poo'd in his pants, put him on the toilet. My boyfriend positively coaxed him to go on the toilet ( by the way has tried everything to get him to use the toilet) through the screaming and the crying his son told us he was scared of going on the toilet. My question is what to do next, he starts school in 2 ½ months. I know consistency is key and we have not been due to weekend running around and day care. He is starting kindergarten in 2 1/2 months so we are open to suggestions..thanks |
marta wetmore
New member
Username: Martawetmore
Post Number: 1
Registered: 01-2009
| | Posted on Friday, January 30, 2009 - 12:55 pm: | |
Any ideas on getting my daughter to relax. She does go on the potty, but it will take about an hour for her to drip and dribble little bits of pee into the toilet. After about an hour she finally can't hold it anymore and it gushes out. She's afraid of this and tries to jump up, but if I'm there she is successful. She is definitely afraid or incapable of relaxing enough to pee. She knows she has to go and sits on the potty without a problem, but I hate for her to sit there for so long at a time. And I worry about her fear of peeing. Anything that I can do?
She is 2 years old and potty training was her idea, she's been talking about it for months, so I went ahead on her cue. She loves getting the rewards and is happy afterwords, but not during. |
Jennifer Wiseman
New member
Username: Bdubjdub
Post Number: 1
Registered: 02-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, February 07, 2009 - 10:46 pm: | |
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?tpc=27&post=19283#P OST1928
I have the same problem as Marta with my 2 yr old daughter. She is a twin, and her sister is doing great with her potty training since "The Big Day". However, the oldest of the 2 just can't seem to relax on the potty. She holds her pee for hours, and when she finally can't hold it any longer she does initiate the trips to the potty. Often she does not make it in time. She will pee a little bit in her pants and sometimes finishes in the potty. She'll sit on the potty, but you can tell she becomes visibly nervous and upset when elimination is iminent. She wants to be done. I try to gently persuade her to stay on the potty and encourage her to pee. If she gets really upset, I don't fight her. She gets down and 5 mins later, we're back.
She clearly knows when she has to go and initiates going. She also has mastered the bladder control! I just wish I could get her to relax and just let it go. She enjoys the reward and is extremely relieved afterward.
Does anyone out there have any tips on breaking through this fear of elimination? |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Thursday, March 26, 2009 - 06:32 pm: | |
My daughter is almost 28 months old is having the same problems. She will tell me when she needs to go and will sit on the potty just fine and wait paitently, but when she feels the need to let it go, she squeezes her legs together and holds her pee in, while asking for her diaper. I tell her that she's doing great and that it's good to put her pee in the potty, etc. I sit with her and try to distract her but she just ends up in tears until she can't hold it anymore, then SCREAMS when it finally does come out. No infection, if she pees in her diaper, her panties, or standing with a naked bottom, no screaming or discomfort at all. I know that she is just deathly afraid of letting her pee go into the potty, and I just don't know how to help her. After she pees, she's fine and proud that she did it and enjoys her reward. It is heartbreaking to see her scream and cry like that so I've only been trying it every few days when she asks to wear her panties. |
CyndyS (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 19, 2009 - 02:33 am: | |
My daughter will be 4 in August and has the same problem as everyone above. I have tried several different things...from putting her in panties and taking her to the potty at intervals to letting her sit for long periods (sometimes while distracted by a favorite show on tv). She will just hold it. She has successfully peed on the potty (fully...not just dribbles like normal) once. And she hasn't done it again since. The other day I went until 3:30pm (she was dry when I got her up at 8am and she had a lot to drink up to that point) when she just started crying saying her tummy hurt. I tried to tell her her tummy would feel better if she just let go and peed in the potty. Crying hysterically she refused to sit on the potty again. I gave in and put a diaper back on her. I did not want her to end up with a UTI, burst bladder, or complications from another medical issue she has which causes an enlarged spleen. That was the longest I have let her hold it and after that I decided to let it go for about a week. We are at about a week from then, so I am dreading starting to try again. I put panties on her today but ended up having to do some running and so put a diaper on. She will mildly fight putting on panties anymore knowing it means we are going to be working on using the potty, but can generally get them on without much problem. She will ask for her diaper through the day, and like most others, no bribe will work. She will ask for something from a piece of chocolate to going to DisneyWorld and I will tell her that she will have to use the potty first. Once I say that then she will tell me she doesn't want whatever it was anymore. So no bribes will work at this point. The more I read the more I realize hers is a fear of elimination too. She gets very antsy and wants to get up or makes squeeking noises when she gets close to the point where it might come out. I would tell her that its ok, to just let go and she'll feel so much better. But to no avail! It makes me feel a bit more sane to hear everyone else's similar difficulties. Please let me know if anyone has success and what brought about the success. I fear, that most stories will be different and will just be when each particular child decides they are finally ready. Argh! So frustrating, but thanks all for sharing to make me feel halfway normal about it all! |
(Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 20, 2009 - 03:07 pm: | |
Two of my daughters were afraid of the potty as well, but their fear had more to do with falling in or off the potty. Their grandfather designed a desk to go around the potty, making them feel more safe and also allowing them to have a desktop to put a book or other amusing toy. I took the design and made a few. If you are interested, go to www.pappaspottytrainer.com or search wood potty chair on eBay.  |
Sarah A (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Friday, June 12, 2009 - 04:41 pm: | |
Wow! I have spent HOURS on the computer and found nothing that explains my daughter's odd potty training resistance...until I read these posts! I have to agree with CyndyS that it IS encouraging to see that we're not the only people dealing with these issues, even though there doesn't seem to be any "expert" advice dealing with these specific issues. I don't really have anything new to add, because she demonstrates the same behaviors as the rest of your children (my daughter is 32 months). She's afraid to go pee and poo, whether in the potty, in regular underwear, or in pull-ups. She started out GREAT for the first 2-4 days with the potty training, so she knows what to do and it's not the actual potty she's afraid of. She was doing so well that I can't imagine that she had any kind of negative experience that she's relating to it all, so I don't know where this came from...of course I'm blaming myself. =( The only time she goes is when she falls asleep (wearing a pull-up), but my usually happy child is now miserable a lot of the time from holding either #1 or #2 and it breaks my heart that I can't comfort her or ease her fears. So, I've finally just put her in the pull-ups so at least she doesn't have to feel bad about the accidents she was having because I think she was really disappointed in herself even though I tried to reassure her. I'm trying to reinforce that it's OK to eliminate, no matter where it goes! I just want her to feel OK about going anymore, I don't even care where (underwear, potty, pull-up) she goes! I've also ditched the frequent reminders and potty-talk just to make sure she's not feeling too pressured...instead of asking her if she's dry or to sit on the potty every say, hour; I only ask her first thing in morning, right before and after nap, and before bath/bedtime. If she says "no" (which is usually 3 out of the 4 times), I just drop it.
While I'm grateful to read that I'm not the only one who's been through this (not that I'm happy about your situations), I'm troubled that there haven't been any responses with advice...have any of you come up with any effective approaches in the meantime? |
Pattie B (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Saturday, July 04, 2009 - 09:33 pm: | |
Ugh!! My son is 21 mos and is ready to potty train. We started yesterday, going nekked all morning. He cried everytime he peed, be it down his leg, in underwear or on the potty! We use cloth diapers, so I let him go coverless in a diaper that he would know he was wet in. He would tell me when he had to go, and wanted to be changed right after. He then went pee on the potty after his bath in the evening. Since we have company, he had diapers on all day today, except after supper when he was nekked again. He was in a diaper for bed and keeps waking up because he has to pee and is afraid. he wanted to sit on the potty, so we did, but he wouldn't go. I put his diaper back on him and he still wouldn't go. I am hoping that he falls asleep deep enough to just "go".
Any advice or news of advancement for you all would be greatly appreciated!!
Funny how all the posts are about little girls though. Is my son the only boy having the issue?? |
Julie Havins (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 07, 2009 - 10:32 am: | |
}My daughter is the same way. She just turned 2 last month and I have been trying really hard to get her to use the potty (using every method I know). She has also just dribbled in the potty a couple of times when she held it for so long that she leaked. But she will not let go and just go potty. She will start panicking too and saying "diapers! diapers!" and refuses to go unless she has one on. When I have told her that I'm not going to put her in a diaper, she cries and runs around like crazy and ends up peeing or pooping in the floor. I wish I knew what to do. She has sat on a little potty chair and on a potty seat on the big toilet and nothihng works |
Narmin Parpia
Moderator
Username: Admin
Post Number: 183
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 08, 2009 - 04:19 pm: | |
Thank you all for your posts, and apologize for the late response to all of your issues.
First of all, as I'm sure you can see, this is not an uncommon occurrence in children, and no it is not more of a girl issue than a boy issue. Fear of the potty is a very individual issue, there are many reasons a child may fear the potty from associating it with pain to watching it swallow their favorite toy. To try and get a better understand of what your child may be going through I recommend you visit our page that goes more in depth about Potty Fear.
I also recommend for those of you with younger children and those of you starting out on your adventure in potty training our sites that go into detail about the subjects. So please check out our page on The History of Potty Training in One Day, How to Potty Train - The Five Potty Training Methods, and How to Get Started with Potty Training.
We highly recommend that you use a structured method when potty training, since it will allow you to be more consistent through the process and this is a must in effective potty training. The trial and error method of potty training a child can cause unnecessary frustration for you and your child, and no one wants that.
Remember, that this is a processes that all children go through and while it may seem overwhelming at first it will be over before you know it. Potty training is one of those events in life where while going through it you may cringe and pull your hair, but once the child is older you will look back and laugh.
Also, one last note, your children can sense stress in you, and this will affect their mood, so when needed take a deep breath, calm down, let your child know that you are there for them, and things should run a lot smoother.
Potty Training Concepts Team |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 - 10:17 pm: | |
I need help. I have called every mother I know for help. My daughter is 3 and two weeks. I have tried potty training a million times. I am in this for 3 days and she refuses to go. I bought a potty video. I bought her a new princess potty reintroducing the potty but she holds it in for hours and hours. She runs around the house screaming that she does not want to go but she won't have an accident. She will just hold it and then she will go on the potty screaming and crying and tonight she just held it for over 8 hours. I called my doctor and she told me to put a diaper on but I don't agree. I am at a loss. Please help me. |
Ruth Simpson (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 - 10:11 am: | |
My daughter will be 3 next month. She is starting nursery for which she must be trained. I thought I would wait until this Summer and it would be easy beacuse she is very clever and wants to wear pants etc etc etc!! Was I wrong or what!! She seems to have a real fear of peeing on the toilet. She holds it in for hours and hours until she bursts.. everywhere. She refuses to even look at a potty because she thinks a potty is babyish. Y'day she held her pee in for 9 hours.. she danced round the house constantly getting very distressed. I feel like such a bad mother. Although having asked for advice from health visitor i have just been told to be strong! When nappy went on at bedtime she had a poo and the nappy was so wet. I am at the end of my tether. |
SGBear98 (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, October 05, 2009 - 05:30 am: | |
Unfortunately My 3 year daughter is in the same boat. She is scared to pieces of peeing. We tried all the different chairs, and rewards she just screams and cries. Now she doesn't mind sitting on the potty but heaven forbid she pee in it...I can't even imagine what to do about poo!!! She can't start any activity groups till she is trained. And I am distressed not at her but at the lack of ideas on how to help her and all the other kids that are having similar problems. Obviously rewards and structure ISN'T the problem. There has to be something out there that eases the fear, Our kids are smart that isn't the issue it's all emotional. ANY REAL HELP OUT THERE??? |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Monday, October 12, 2009 - 04:38 pm: | |
I am having the same problem with my little girl. She is 3 years and 4 months old and she refuses to use the potty. She doesn't mind sitting on the potty but now she is almost too tall for the one we have for her. She will sit on a toilet insert but again she will not potty. She goes all day sometimes holding her pee for up to 15 hours. I have already had to take her to the ER once because she got a UTI from holding it so much and the doctor told me to put her back in diapers until she healed. Now we've tried pullups but it's still the same. Now she will hold her pee even in the diapers or pullups if she is around a lot of kids and doesn't want to take time out to get changed. I have tried positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement and everything else under the sun and I don't know what to do now. She is very intelligent and has had no other developmental problems but this is truly frustrating for me and her both. HELP!!!! |
jolli nies
New member
Username: Jollivee
Post Number: 1
Registered: 10-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 09:53 am: | |
Your daughter thinks of her urine and her feces as a part of herself because it comes from within her body. This is normal because of her age - a toddler. You should somewhat explain to her that she needs to let go of these or she might get sick. |
Melanie
New member
Username: Mbearbr
Post Number: 2
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Friday, November 06, 2009 - 04:33 pm: | |
My son is having the exact same problems, the first few days he did fantastic then he woke up one morning and just holds it, until he starts leaking and gets uncomfortalbe. If he even leaks a little he stands up and starts crying. He gets so uncomfortable that he is onory. He will sit on the potty for ever with no problem but as soon as he starts going he freaks and stands up screaming. Its very frustrating for us both because he knows when he needs to go its like he just cant relax the muscles, has performance anxiety or something. He will sit on the potty in agony holding it I dont understand. Now I dont know if its right or what people would recommend but I got sick of him having so much anxiety and being uncomfortable so I told him he could pee outside. He went out ran for a second stopped and peed and laughed. It was releaving for both of us. Then just a minute ago he said he needed to go pee pee I tried the potty but no luck again then I sent him outside he walked out and peed right away. I know it sounds crazy but at this point its helping him relax about going pee and we both feel a little more relaxed. I dont mind this for now we will keep working on the potty but at least he is telling me when he needs to go, he is going when he asks, we are not on the potty for hours at a time. When he does go outside I tell him good job for telling mommy he needed to go, and for going but next time we need to try the potty. He is doing better today and so am I. Where I live its about to get very very cold so I hope he gets comfortable with going and then when it gets cold he will have to go in the potty. Its so nice to hear others have the same problem, even though no one really has an answer. |
Melanie
New member
Username: Mbearbr
Post Number: 3
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Monday, November 09, 2009 - 07:32 pm: | |
Well it worked we are 2 days with no accidents he still holds it for a long time but we are getting better at learning to relax. I hope this idea helps someone else. |
Melanie
New member
Username: Mbearbr
Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, November 12, 2009 - 02:03 pm: | |
still no accidents I think it really worked good luck everyone else! |
Kelli (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Sunday, November 22, 2009 - 06:28 pm: | |
Melanie - is he going on the potty too now? I have an almost 4 year old son and almost 3 year old daughter that are having the same anxiety issue with going on the potty. Unfortunately it's getting cold here too, so probably can't do that, but it's an interesting idea. |
Melanie
New member
Username: Mbearbr
Post Number: 5
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Friday, November 27, 2009 - 11:56 pm: | |
Yes he goes on the potty all the time now, we have only had 2 accidents since that day, he will tell me he needs to go and will go even in public bathrooms now. I still get funny looks when people ask about how I potty trained him but this was seriously the best decision I made, At first I just let him go on the ground then I took the little potty outside and he would go in that but once it got cold he started going on the little potty inside, now he goes in the big, little, or public bathrooms, I hope this helps! Good luck! |
Dana (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, November 30, 2009 - 10:23 pm: | |
Dito to all of your posts and thank you so much for sharing and helping me understand that we are not alone! My daughter Ava turned 4 in Oct and refuses to stop whatever she is doing to use the toilet. She is too busy!!! She has not pooped in her pants for well over 10 mths, but peeing is whole other ball game. The only thing that has worked in short periods is to let her run around the house with a long nightgown or t-shirt on w/out panties. She will still do the potty dance and run around to try to stop it but will eventually go to the toilet. As soon as she has panties on, she just goes in them. Obviously I cannot let her leave the house w/out panties or pants on. She will also just pee in her pull-up which I use only for nap and bedtime. She does this while she is wide awake, then changes it herself right after she has peed in it. I don't know if this is pure laziness or if she just does it to get attention. Honestly, I have lost my cool at this point and I am trying everything I can not to anymore. She has had up to 4 UTI's and has been tested for Kidney Reflux, which she has level 1 on her right side. The specialists and my pediatrician have both confirmed the Kidney Reflux has nothing to do with her potty training issues or the UTI's. She just holds it too long and has irritated her bladder so bad, she no longer has control over it. She currently has wet rash from picking at her bottom so bad when her panties are wet. She looks like she has worms, she picks so much. It is so embarassing! I am at a COMPLETE loss and do NOT have any clue what to do at this point. I love my little girl so much and do not want her to be in pain or made fun of b/c she pees in her pants and/or wears a pull-up. I know it is strictly said not to put them back in pull-ups after the potty training process has started, but we are going on almost 2 yrs of training and I am done. She has to figure this out and take control of her potty. I am thinking that maybe by using a pull-up and taking a break for a week or so, her bladder will calm down b/c she will not be holding it anymore and she will be ready to do this on her own. I am always here for her, but she has to want to do it. Any suggestions or reasurrance would be so greatly appreciated. Good luck to you and all of your little ones. Hang in there, I know it is hard, TRUST ME!!! |
Shelley Merziotis (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 05:56 pm: | |
Help! My daughter is 3 years and a couple months old! She is fully potty trained! Wears big girl panties! She use to go on her little potty at home and the big potty! Had no problems going to the mall or target and using the big potty! Then one day we went to a public bathroom and she freaked because it automatically flushed!!! Now she is scared out of her mind to use any potty other than her little one at home! We go places and we have to go straight home because she refuses and cries when I try to get her to go in the store! I have even told her I would buy her a lolly pop if she went or even a toy! Nothing works!!!!! I don't know what to do! HELP!!! |
Meghan Torres
New member
Username: Goofs1girl
Post Number: 1
Registered: 03-2010
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 02:24 am: | |
My daughter is 23 months old. We started a week ago and she was going pee once or twice a day. Now I put her on the potty/toilet with potty seat and she just holds it in. She likes to sit on the potty, she thinks it's fun. I will keep her on the potty at times that she should have to go (like when she wakes up or shortly after a big drink) and she just won't go. Then I put the pull-ups on and she'll go within 10 minutes. I don't know what to do short of just sitting there in the bathroom for half an hour. We only have one bathroom and there are a lot of people in the house, so it is difficult to do that. |
Suzanne (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, April 05, 2010 - 04:50 pm: | |
Hiya was really helpful to read these stories. We started potty training about 3 months ago - sitting our 3 year old on the toilet and potty (had tried previously but then developed toilet/potty phobia for a while!) - she would sit happily for up to 20 mins - singing/ reading books - we ran taps - watched mummy - nothing helped and clearly holding on cos poos and wees in nappies within 10 minutes after. Then we went commando for a weekend and success - 2nd day -lots of poos and wees in potty. Third day - some reluctance (out of nowhere) and fourth day - grimacing in discomfort whenever she came close to letting go and tensing up completely. Last thing this evening I was getting desperate after the 4th episode of crying doubled up on potty in pain when she was getting close to weeing - so I got a bucket and squatted next to her - presto - tandem weeing!! Sitting on the toilet with her on potty next to me had not helped but this did - I was in right position to demo I guess - bit drastic but hey ho we do what we have to. Will see if it works tomorrow!! |
Jennifer Cohen (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, April 12, 2010 - 11:11 am: | |
I'm relieved that so many people have had the same problem, and very discouraged that only one person that has posted some success in getting over this! Won't someone please or shower because she's afraid she'll pee in there! |
Shelly (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, April 29, 2010 - 08:20 am: | |
My 3 1/2 year old daughter has the same problem as everyone else. She holds it, and then screams because she's in pain. I called her Dr's office yesterday to find out if they had any advice (because I do not want to go back to diapers), and they recommended having her sit in a very warm bath, and peeing in there. This will teach her that going potty in a different environment is ok. The first time that we did this yesterday, she screamed a lot, but then let go. She was so happy that she went potty not in her diaper. And alot of encouragement went along with that. She did that once more yesterday without causing much of a fuss. I think that after a few days of this, we'll try the potty again. |
Julie P (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 - 01:28 pm: | |
I want to encourage all of you. Potty training is really hard work, and mostly one day it will just click for your child and there you have it. I worked in daycare full time for almost 3 years and now run my own out of my house, so I have a little experience with potty training. My daughter is 20 months but showing all the signs of readiness so we decided to go for it. When we first started training a few weeks ago, I took her diapers off and just let her run around the house commando. Well, she had an accident at 8am and then by 12:30 when she goes down for naps she had not peed or pooped at all. No accidents but no going in the potty. I put her in a diaper for nap time and she went in about 30 seconds, so I had to change it right away.
This went on for a few weeks. I was not hard core potty training, just going without a diaper when ever it was convenient for me and letting her try out the potty. After all, I have other kids to pay attention to as well. I tend to be a perfectionist and I am really trying to not be negative when she goes potty - no matter where it is- because I want elimination to be a happy time.
Anyway, today she has successfully peed in the potty 3 times and pooped once. Of course we had 3 accidents as well, but she doesn't seem as scared to eliminate anymore. She was scared the first time she peed this morning. I had to do a lot of stroking and comforting and loving. But she has not been scared the other two times. The poop also scared her - it is the first time ever she has pooped in the potty - and that poop was massive!
My first goal was for her to get used to just hanging out on the potty. We have been doing that with clothes on for about 4 months. Next was to sit there naked. Then we started pouring her poop into the potty out of her diaper and then transfering to the toilet. Finally I took off her pants and diaper and let her run around commando. When she showed signs of anxiety about elimination I added in panties. Everytime she has an accident I put her on the potty right afterward so she will associate the potty with peeing. We read a potty book and talk about how she will go in the potty one day when she is ready. Its ok to not be ready yet. Its also ok to pee in your pants. This kid needs encouragement that getting the pee and poop out is awesome.
If it helps to think about it, those of us with kids who can hold in their pee are at an advantage when it comes to long term potty goals. Our kids can already hold in their elimination so once they get the hang of this, they will have a leg up. The problems is fear and a need to relax. Imagine that you were being asked to learn to wiggle your ears. If you look in a mirror and smile, you will notice your ears move a little bit. Well, you have muscles there that when you learn to control them can make your ears move without having to smile. Everytime you get frustrated with your little one, try to wiggle your ears without moving your mouth. Maybe by the time you master that skill, they will master theirs! Or at least it will help you relax and laugh at yourself. Sometimes I think she is feeding off of my tension and that makes it hard for her to relax.
Anyway, here are the things I tried. I know we have much training to go, but it is a process, and everybody is potty trained by high school!
1. Because she was holding it in, I put her in training pants even though she hadn't successfully peed in the potty. Sure enough, they felt comfortable like diapers so she went pee pee and poop in them. BUT, for the first time she started telling me there was pee pee in there. That was step one.
2. I also thought about putting her in the bathtub a few times a day. If the panties hadn't worked, that was my next plan. She is comfy peeing in the tub and that lets her eliminate with no shame or stress on me.
3. I finally found a reward that works. I tried stickers, which she likes but doesn't care much about. What she does love is climbing my 2-step stepladder. So today I had the brilliant idea to let her climb the ladder to wash her hands after she peed the first time. SHE LOVED IT. It was the reward I was looking for. All morning she said "pee pee in there" and sat on the potty trying to go so she could climb that ladder. The key is choosing a reward that is awesome and not at all available for any other reason - plus one you can give 500 times a day. She can climb that ladder to her heart's content.
4. The idea that you have to go cold turkey with diapers is ridiculous. Let the kids pee I say. Tell them when they are ready they will only pee and poop in the potty, but until then that is what diapers are for ("A Potty for Me" is a good diaper book with that message). Kids who are afraid to eliminate need fears reduced however that is.
5. water play at a bucket - let her get her hands in some nice warm water, but in a small enough container she can't get in. I know that makes me have to pee, and might help release the feeling.
6. Sand play is also relaxing to young kids. You need to help them de-stress. Just don't put them in a public sandbox to have accidents. None of us want your kids pee in our public sandbox if you can help it.
7. Let them choose special toys to sit on the potty with them. We have a bathtime doll that happens to leak water when you take her out of the bath so sometimes we let her pee in the potty too.
8. When pee pee, no matter how few drops, gets in the potty, we hug and celebrate and talk about how proud we are and sometimes take a picture and send it to daddy at work. He sends a message back about how proud he is and that is a good reward!
9. Be creative. No two kids are a like. What worked for someone else isn't necessarily the way to go for you. At daycare we started simply by letting them sit on the potty when we changed diapers, and then changing the diapers standing up. If they peed in the potty they got sticker earrings (a smiley face sticker on each ear) to show their parents. Even the boys got into that for some reason. Now my daughter could care less and doesn't want stickers on her ears at all so you have to think of something else if that is not good enough. Maybe they will be more comfortable if the potty is in the living room, or the bathtub.
10. Put them back in diapers but cut a hole in the crotch of all your diapers before you put it on them. That way they feel secure enough to pee, but if they don't pee pee in the potty they know they have had an accident. As you progress, make the holes bigger and bigger till you don't need diapers anymore.
11. Put a diaper in the bottom of your potty and let them pee on it. This can work in the toilet too. Just let it float there and have them try to get their pee pee in the diaper. Messy but if it works....
12. Stay calm and positive. Every milestone is success. Reward for getting out the pee pee, no matter where. Reward for sitting on the potty more than a second. Reward for telling you the pee pee came out. Reward for telling you the pee pee is coming. Sometimes life is scary, but they will come around.
Good luck. Hope some of these ideas help. |
Julie P (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Friday, May 07, 2010 - 01:53 pm: | |
Just wanted to update. Its been two days and I just figured out that I may be the one making potty time scary. She currently stands up to pee - which would be ok if she was a boy but does not work as well with girl parts.
I realized yesterday that whenever she does that, I quickly push her back to a seated position so the pee pee goes in the potty. I think it is the pushing that scares her and is making her more nervous about going on the potty. So I have decided to back off and let her pee on the floor in front of the toilet if that is what happens when she stands up.
In case that helps anyone else. I also just read that it does not help to call poop or pee, yucky, dirty, stinky, etc. because they can see this as part of themselves and feel you are calling them dirty, yucky, etc. So today when she pooped in the potty and was scared I said "wow, you pooped in the potty, your poop is awesome". She beamed at me and stopped looking scared. I think I am on the right track with this one. |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Saturday, May 08, 2010 - 02:46 pm: | |
Does anyone have an stories that really work? I have a 3 year old that has gone before (after 3-4 glasses of chocolate milk) she had to go very badly. So I let her wash dishes and she had to sit down becuase she had to go so bad. Finally she couldnt hold it anymore and peed very little into the potty chair and cried the whole time. I just want to know any stradegies that worked for you moms who went through this fear of the potty. I just need new ideas, - how did you tell them its ok to pee and poop in the potty? she is scared, she even told me so, but unfortunately time will not heal this problem.... i need to tell her its ok. Even i pretended i needed to go potty on the chair and she freaked out! |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 09:57 am: | |
My daughter is going turn 4 in another month. She was well trained to pee and poo when she was 2. When she turned 3 we started not to wear a pull-ups for outdoors because she started going to school. Now the problem is she couldnt hold pee for 10 minutes when we are in outdoors. She is telling that she wanted to pee and she is freaked out and started jumping that she going to wet pants now. She feels bad for wetting the pants. But she doesnt know how to hold it for a while we find a restroom. |
Megan
New member
Username: Meggie2345
Post Number: 1
Registered: 07-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, July 03, 2010 - 09:14 am: | |
I know this may sound crazy, and it started off as me just joking, but I started thinking, maybe I should pee in her potty?! Every time I have to pee, I take her diaper, and clothes off, and put her on her potty. But, she sees me pee on the big potty, and I think that may be confusing. I'm showing her how Mommy pees, but then I'm expecting her to understand putting her pee somewhere else. She keeps holding it until I let her get up, then she pees on the floor! I know it sounds silly, but tell me, has anyone else thought of peeing in their daughters potty? |
Narmin Parpia
Moderator
Username: Admin
Post Number: 189
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 07, 2010 - 04:46 pm: | |
Hi Megan;
From the messages of frustration I hear here at Potty Training Concepts I am sure people have thought of ten times more silly than your thought.
Your concept is actually somewhat similar to the whole Potty Training in One Day Concept since the main basis for the method is that the doll sees and teaches the Doll to go in either the child's own potty or the actual toilet.
We recommend in the method that the child and the doll use the same potty as this will indeed stop any confusion from forming.
Why don't you try, with a child seat to help her learn to go on the Big Girl Toilet or show her a doll that goes in her potty, as I'm sure this would be more comfy than you sitting on it 
Here are a few links to dolls that help or some seats and step stools that may make the Toilet more accessible.
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/CTGY/Potty-Seat.html
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/CTGY/Step-Stool.html
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/CTGY/Potty-Training-Doll.html |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 - 08:28 pm: | |
My 23 month old is having the same issue as all of your kids. Its so helpful just to read we're not alone in this.
In case it helps anyone: I found that more often than not jumping in the shower with the potty, having her sit on the potty (bribe c candy if necessary) then running the shower over her little toes relaxes her. Talk about anything else but the potty. If its been 2 or more hours since she's gone she'll start to tinkle and when she does KEEP QUIET until she's done, focussing on the water from the faucet.
Good luck all. |
Serena Barton (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 18, 2010 - 11:09 pm: | |
I am in the process of toilet training my 3 year old daughter. She is doing really well but i have one major problem. She is holding in her first morning pee in for hours and becomes hysterical, crying and driving herself crazy. Once she finally does sit on the potty and do her business she is fine for the rest of the day and will sit on the potty whenever she feels anything. I dont think she has a problem with the potty because she shows obvious signs that its not a problem. its just this holding on the first pee and screaming really bad. I am really concerned about this behaviour and need help desperately! |
AnneS (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Saturday, September 18, 2010 - 01:33 pm: | |
PLEASE HELP!
I have a 2.5 year old boy who has been without diapers for over 2 weeks. We tried the 3 day potty training guide. He was doing wonderfully and hardly had too many accidents. At night he never peed his bed! All of a sudden he has started to pinch his penis to hold the pee in. Now, he is screaming and hysterically crying over it. Of course we jump all over him and say don't pinch it and put him on the toilet, but he won't go? He will even sit there for a while...but won't go? He's squeezing his penis...non-stop and now is going hysterical that he has to pee. He has peed outside and finds that relaxing (sort of)...and in the shower. But is that really teaching him? We have praised him up and down and gave him tones of little presents for going pee. Still won't poo in the toilet. Do you think he is not ready? What changed? Should we stop and put him back in diapers after he did so well till now? His penis is now purple!!! I'm desperate for advice and help....PLEASE! |
JessicaH (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Saturday, October 09, 2010 - 09:56 pm: | |
So I have a little girl who is 2 years and 2 months and I am having similar problems to everybody else on here. We tried the underwear cold turkey method about a month ago and she got it. She understood everything she was supposed to do and knew not to go in her pants. It only took her a couple of hours. The problem was that she was terrified to pee on the potty. She would say she had to go and sit, but once she started to feel it coming, she would freak out, and get up and say she didn't have to go. And then be back 2 minutes later for more of the same. Until eventually she couldn't hold it, and would pee all over the floor next to the potty. We kept her in underwear for a week and it was not getting much better and we were pretty much tied to the house, so we gave up and put her back in diapers.
So I have been thinking and trying to come up with a way to make this better for her, because I know she is capable of doing it if she just gets over the fear. We are only halfway into the plan, so I have no idea if it will work, but I thought I would share it anyway. I started putting her in the bathroom every time I saw her pooping and told her that peepee and poopoo go in the bathroom. I did that for about a week until she was going in there herself when she had to go and going in her diaper in the bathroom. Then I put her in undies but when she has to go, she can have a diaper in the bathroom to go, but the diapers have to stay in the bathroom. That is where we are now. She has been in underwear for 2 whole days with very few accidents and we have even been able to leave the house and go shopping. But she is still going in the diaper. So in the next day or so, I am going to tell her that she can have a diaper only if she sits on the potty, so that she is going on the potty but still in the comfort of her diaper. Then hopefully after a few days of that, I will be able to take the diaper out of the equation and it will go much smoother. I hope it works and maybe will help somebody else with the same problem! |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2010 - 06:38 am: | |
you shouldnt do that, it teaches her that peeing in a diaper is the right thing.To teach her properly, untill she is old enough to not be scared of the potty, let her pee outside. I had the same problem as you when I was young,my parents had me do that and it worked great! |
JessicaH (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2010 - 01:50 pm: | |
It actually has worked perfectly. She gave up the diaper on her own when she was comfortable and is now going in the potty and wearing underwear all the time. She wouldn't go outside or in the bathtub. She is not that kind of kid and freaks out when things get messy. She peed in the tub once and cried in the bath for a month. She was afraid of the feeling of the pee coming out and she needed the comfort of the diaper to adjust to paying attention to that feeling, and once she got it, she stopped using the diaper! Maybe your idea will work for somebody else though. I have found that potty training is very individualized. What works for one kid totally bombs for another! |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Thursday, March 17, 2011 - 03:49 pm: | |
Our 2.5 year old daughter has had similar problems to the ones posted here-would sit on her toilet for hours reading books, playing with Play Doh,singing songs, finger play, blah, blah, blah but would stand up the instant she was about to go pee. She would run out of the bathroom demanding a diaper be put on her. If we said no she would scream. If we said try again she would scream. Nothing would comfort her or encourage her to let it go into the toilet- and believe me, we were all about the encouraging and comforting to get her to go. The second we put a diaper on her, she would go and then tell us to change her because she was wet- obviously she knew the feeling of having to go, just was afraid to do so in the toilet.
My husband and I decided we were going to take her to the store to have her pick out her own underwear- this after watching Elmo's Potty Time a million times, watching her cousins use the toilet, trying pull-ups, bribing with stickers, candy, ice cream, movies, etc. We told her there were no more diapers and that she was a big girl now who wears underwear.
At first she peed on herself, but didn't like the wet feeling going down her legs or getting on her precious blanket! She was still nervous about going on the toilet for the first day, but she could only hold it for so long before she really had to go. We also told her that she would have to use the toilet before she could wear her "special" underwear-which she REALLY wanted to wear. So, after less than 12 hours of wearing NO diapers at all (and an expected overnight accident), she was running around the house yelling, "my butt, my butt!" I told her to put it in the toilet and she hesitantly/nervously did (she pooped!). The next time she had to go was a little better- not as nervous and she peed.
To increase her chances of going more quickly after the first day, we had her play, eat, etc. around the house without anything on- the first day involved a TON of laundry after peeing on herself! We figured she thought her butt being covered meant she could go pee whenever she wanted. This helped immensely. She didn't want to go on the floor, so she would still hold it for a long time, but at the last minute, she would run to the toilet and with our help, she would sit down and go. Don't get me wrong, this made us both feel like we were being cruel and unusual to our daughter, but she really didn't like that feeling.
It has been 4 days since we told her there were no more diapers...each day the number of times she uses the toilet increases. She now tells us when she has to go, too! The first 3 days, we had to initiate her use by reminding her to keep her underwear dry. She is not holding it for 4-6 hours at a time just so she doesn't have to use the toilet. She goes every 2-3 hours on her own and LOVES to flush it down the "big" toilet once it's dumped from her toilet. What a drastic change from just 4 days ago- more like 6 months ago.
Hope this helps all of you looking for some help. When I searched the internet, I found many people were having this problem, but then nobody had any answers to the problem. It does take a little time to overcome the fear of letting it go, but it does happen. Try different approaches. Try not to say, "no you have to sit down and pee/poop." Try, "if you go pee/poop, you can do this..." that seemed to help her feel better as well- not so many no's were used to help her get comfy. |
NicFinch (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, May 09, 2011 - 10:24 pm: | |
My 2 1/2 year old daughter is having pee pee issues. We started potty training... she was interested so we went for it - about 2 months ago. Was going well, then she just stopped. We've been letting it be her decision if she wants to try. Now she's holding it at school, not going in her diaper. I don't want to force it and make it a dreaded issue. The holding it is what is bad. She doesn't like to have accidents either. This site has definitely make me feel better about things and I know it will work out for us all . . . eventually. So thanks to everyone. |
jennifer sharum (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2011 - 02:35 pm: | |
my 2 1/2 yr old is having this problem, she has absolutely no problem pooping on the potty but shell hold her pee till she gets then pee on the floor, im so tired of this and i've sat her on the potty and tried everything i could think of to get her to pee. ive let her play with her hands in warm water, ran the faucet in the sink, tickled her, and making the potty sounds nothing works!!! help!!! |
(Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2011 - 02:37 pm: | |
sorry that was supposed to say she holds her pee till she gets off |
Kellie (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2011 - 08:01 pm: | |
Well I have one for you. My 27 month old daughter doesn't want to go in her diaper or the potty! She hates the feeling of being wet or soiled but is apparently terrified of going on the potty that she will run around holding herself and screaming like someone is hurting her saying, ALL DONE! She just recently started this. She used to love her potty. Now she sits there and does nothing. And sometimes goes before she gets to it or after she stands up. She'll hold it until she can't hold it anymore. She'll say when she has to go and start getting upset even with a diaper on. She made herself a little constipated because of it too. I get concerned, but she isn't red down below, there are no traces of blood in her urine or poo, her urine looks normal and smells normal. I thought UTI but no signs and no fever. She has to just be afraid. I feel so bad for her. =( Not even the rewards or singing or playing help when she starts to get upset. Any ideas? |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Monday, June 20, 2011 - 11:06 pm: | |
Good Grief!!! Catheter then use a cat-o-9 tails. Worked on my 7 children, and they all use the same on the grand babies. Problem solved! |
Krystal (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2011 - 06:44 pm: | |
My daughter Savannah will be 2 in 2 weeks. She started waking up to dry diapers, informing us when she needed a diaper change and starting taking off her diaper. So we bought her a potty chair, she wanted the big potty like mommy instead so we got her a chair to go with it. At first she was intrested and excited. We switched to pull ups with dora on them and told her dont get dora wet she doesnt like to be wet. She has never gone on the potty, infact when she is on the potty she holds it and as soon as she has her pull up on she goes in them. Days later she stop going in her pull up but will take her pull up off in her room and go on the floor or take off a dirty diaper off and run around naked. I feel really fusterated and do not know if I should hold off on poty training. We sing songs on the potty to relax her and still nothing. Is she too young? |
jennifer (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2011 - 07:51 pm: | |
My 3 year old daughter holds her pee for long periods of time, some days only going once in a whole day. I am starting to wonder if her potty issue is physical rather then emotional. She is very smart and I have tried all potty training methods. |
calandra (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, July 21, 2011 - 07:24 am: | |
I'm having the same problems as above with my 26 month old daughter. She showed all the signs of being ready, was making trips to the potty and sitting on it, and did one wee a few weeks before we started 'formal' training. I got the Gina Ford 'Potty Train in One Week' book, and also the 'No Cry' book, and thought that when I was finally ready (I have a 2 1/2 month old baby) we'd go for it. I got all the stickers/incentives/treats all ready.
Well, all those books did was make me (us) feel like a total failure. I tried every trick in the book as far as rewards, incentives, and then the 'boot camp' method that adds 'consequences' like making her clean up the mess and potty drills. Nothing has worked so far to actually make her go on the potty.
I tried the 'bathtub method' of putting the potty in the bath and she went once that way, but never again (I've now tried about 6 times).
I also tried sitting her in front of me on the big potty (she wanted to use the big potty) as suggested by Baby Whisperer, but that hasn't worked.
Then, I thought that she was just being stubborn, so I tried more disciplinary tactics: I tried to make her stay on the potty in one room. What a big mistake in hindsight. Now, I'm trying to go back to being more low-key, but I fear that the damage is done. I guess maybe she wasn't being stubborn, just fearful.
I really don't want to stop because we've both put a lot into this. But reading these posts, I'm convinced it might be fear.
So what I'm going to do next is as follows:
1. I'm buying her a 'wee friend' that goes in the potty and has a smiley face when it gets wet. I'm trying to get her to see the potty as her friend and tell her that it's thirsty and needs wee wee to drink; that it's lonely and wants her to sit on it; and that the poo poo wants to be flushed away so that it can be with other poo poo down the pipes. Not sure if this will work, but it did get her to 'visit' her potty at nursery this morning before going to play.
2. I am going to try the naked method and see if that makes things better or worse.
3. I might put the potty in the shower instead of the bath just for some variation.
4. If all else fails, I may do what someone else on the site suggested - keep her in pants but allow her to wear a nappy in the bathroom for a limited time just to get her to go, then let her have it only when on the potty, then put a hole in it.
I really feel that once we get one or two wee wees going, things will sort themselves out. She' intelligent (it seems that a lot of the problem children mentioned above are highly intelligent also - hmmm). I could be wrong.
Anyway, this site has been very helpful seeing that people have the same problems and some possible solutions, and I'll let you know if I have any success. |
Maha Abuelmagd (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2011 - 12:05 am: | |
Omg thank you so much ladies for your posts. I was out of my mind these past few weeks as my 21 month old was refusing to go potty. She would pee in her diaper/ pants as soon as I take her off.
Then I read the post where you put her in the bath tub and it worked!!!! She did it twice and hated it so she wanted to do it in the potty. She still holds it for several hours but when she senses she has to urinate she would tell me and goes to the potty.
She is still holding the poop though. And I haven't tried to take her out. We will see how it goes. Prayers needed. |
Amber (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2011 - 01:26 pm: | |
My son is 3 1/2. He apparently enjoys withholding - both pee and poo. Reading these posts definitely helps; as I know that I am not the only one going through this. We are working on potty-training, and we give him 1 m&m for pee, and 2 for poo. But this treat is slowly losing it's excitement. Any suggestions?
Thanks for the support! |
(Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2011 - 02:31 pm: | |
My just turned four year old son has just finally gotten the potty training down. We tried every reward system, every bribe, nothing worked. Finally I just stopped trying because I felt like I was making him worse. His daycare teacher last week said bring him underwear this week and clothing and lets get rid of the pullups and within the week he is almost fully trained. I really think emotionally he was immature for his age and he needed the extra time. Going to underwear at school where Im sure he feared having accident in front of the other kids really made him want to try harder than at home. I am so relieved. He is now excited every time he goes and is always asking me if Im proud of him because I praise him with that every time he does and he really craves that. |
laurel remington (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2011 - 05:01 am: | |
I'm happy to say that we've had quite a bit of success. For my daughter (26 months) the naked method worked - had her run around without pants one saturday morning, had 2 accidents, then sat on potty for 3 hours watching 'Finding Nemo' drinking gallons or milk. When the wee wee finally came, she was quite scared. But lots of praise and presents, and she managed to do another one soon after. Now she's had 3 days dry at nursery and as a treat I took her to see 'Night Garden Live' and she made it there and back in the car (1 hour each way) with no accidents and also all through the performance. I had a portable potty there and she went just before it started - in front of everyone, but who cares. Anyway, there have been some ups and downs, but I'm very proud of how well she's doing at present. |
seren75 (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Saturday, August 06, 2011 - 10:15 pm: | |
I need help. My daughter is 3 and a half...not only will she not go on the potty, but now she wont go in her diaper. She will hold it for HOURS screaming OW OW and crying, she will only go in OUR bathtub. Im reading all this, and I still dont see anyone having the same problem as us. Its come to the point where I said no you will have to use your diaper...but after the 2nd hour I am just afraid she will bust her bladder. Anyone have any suggestions? |
CarolineH (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2011 - 01:18 pm: | |
Hi everyone, i started potty training my 19month lil girl a week ago and found exactly the same problem... She held her wee in that long she was in tears with frustration.. So.. I found this site and unfortunatly didnt get any answers, just relieved theres many other having children the same problem & im not the only stressed out, confused mum!
Yes, she may sound very young to be potty training, but she has been waking from her naps dry!
One week has gone by and guess what.... She has cracked it!!!! heres how:
Have a couple of days round the house, without a nappie or pants on, when you need a wee, take ur little one and explain what your doing (this sounds stupid, but u & ur little one wave bye bye while flushing!)
Every bout 20mins take them to the toilet/potty.. My daughter uses the toilet with a seat on, just sit with them opposite and read a book together, let them stare at pics etc, just to let them feel at ease and comfortable n not feeling pressured into weeing. The first few days, holding in wee will happen, so.. I put my daughter on the toilet and filed an old ice cream tub with warm water for her to play with her hands in.. And bingo... She wee'd!!!!! Do not praise as they r weeing, wait til after, so she finishes it, also, at first she was scared, comfort her, hug her and be calm!
Each time i say.. Do u need a wee wee?! Then if she nods we have a lil role to play.. Mummy needs the light switchin on.. Lift her up & let her switch the light on, then say 1, as she puts her foot on her toilet stool, 2 when she puts her second foot on then say.. Turn around aannnnddd 3! As you sit her down. Have some books for her near the toilet, hold them at her arms length away for her to just stare at the pics, whisper, but try and be quite, then if she does a wee wait til she has totally finnished, clap at yeyyy, give her toilet paper and let her wipe, what a big girl!!! Flush & wave bye bye too wee wee! Then let her wash her hands her self and dry them!! What a clever girl! it does take time, but they get there.. Just make it fun! I have been out a few times so i have used nappies, but when in the house to get the jist, jave no nappies on, then once thats totally conkered itll be going out without nappies on! She now gets in a mood with me when i ask if she needs a wee, as when she needs one she opens the toilet door herself!!! Even if there is accidents, dont be negative be happy with them then put her on the toilet and say wee wee in toilet! Hope this very long winded piece has helped! & good luck!! :o) |
maria (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Saturday, August 20, 2011 - 03:55 pm: | |
I've had the exact same issues with my 3 year old daughter as everyone else. She has been holding her pee and poo all day and peeing only once a day when she couldn't hold it anymore. When she finally let it go she would scream. She refused to go in the potty, toilet or even her pull-up. She had quite the fear of letting it go. I was desperate for help and then saw these postings and from reading them all I felt alot better it wasn't just me and there were a few great suggestions. I decided to try Narmin's link to "The History of Potty training in one day". I think it's the same as Dr. Phil's method. I went out and got a potty training doll that actually went in her own potty. I got it from Mastermind Toy Store and her name is Emma. You can also try Ebay and Amazon.com or any specialty toy store. It was expensive at $70 but I was quite desperate for something to work. She loved the doll instantly. I told her that she has to teach her doll how to go potty. Then they would go potty side by side. For the first time, she peed in the potty today without screaming and crying. I threw her a party complete with princess cupcakes, party hats and blow whistle. The next step was to call a friend/relative that would pretend to be their favourite character. Her favourite was Cinderella. So my friend pretended to be Cinderella and she gave her lots of praise in her "Cinderella" voice. My daughter is not trained yet but this was a very good start to get over the fear and I wanted to share this with everyone who is going through the same thing. |
Kathy Gray (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2011 - 11:33 am: | |
I had the same problem with my daughter holding her pee for hours. It made me cringe. We had to stop potty training 3 different times because she was just holding it far too long. I am a Christian and prayed for guidance on this issue. The Lord provided an answer. Take off her diaper at night, put her favorite princess pants on her and put the diaper back on in the morning. Although she could hold it at night, it gave her the freedom to relax those muscles if she would/could. I bought a water proof mattress cover. Here's what happened...the first night she peed the bed because she was still used to the diaper. The next 5 or 6 nights she would hold her pee through the night. Then I would put her diaper on in the morning and she would pee immediately in the diaper. I wouldn't say anything about using the potty. Then for whatever reason, she began to pee the bed at night in her pants. That's when I knew I was ready to begin putting her on the potty because there was no more fear of her holding it. Sure enough, it worked. She had a few accidents the first day wearing pants, but that was great. I had no worries that she was scared to use the potty or going to hold it for hours again. Now she's a pro, and once these children are potty trained, they are the best at not having accidents! Hope that helps others who are as frustrated as I was! |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 06, 2011 - 12:22 am: | |
My 3.5 yr old has many accidents even if she's fully understood when she needs to go. I think it's because she's too busy doing whatever she's doing that she doesn't want to go even after being asked if she needs to go.
We've given her rewards when she doesn't have accidents and taken the rewards away once she has accident. I'm not sure if this is a discouragement.
The preschool teacher is getting frustrated. My kid seems to go a lot more often that the others (sometimes 4 times in a 4-hr zone).
Any thoughts?
Thanks. |
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