| Author |
Message |
    
(Unregistered Guest)
| | Posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 01:24 pm: | |
Hi,
I have a 3 1/2 year old girl. I have tried to train her when she was 3 1month but it turned out that we needed to back off because she would cry when she was urinating because she was kind of scared of the sound and the letting go process.
Now, since about 2 weeks she started out wanting to wear underwear so we let her. She keeps on holding the pee back for 12 hours and more or she resists to go to the potty. When she sits on the big toilet (that's what she choose) she can't relax and let it go. She does the potty dance for hours and just wants to sit on her bottom to make it easier not to have to urinate. We had about 3-4 good days but then she totally went backwards. She wanted to wear diapers again. So I let her to give myself a break for a couple of days. She has all the readiness signs and is very smart. It looks to me that she is very headstrong and wants to prove her point in holding the pee back. All the rewards and trips to Disneyland don't work.
I am really running out of ideas. My first daughter trained in 1 1/2 when she was about 2 3/4 years old. A breeze.
Do you have any ideas what I could do different?
Thanks, Edith |
Narmin Parpia
New member
Username: Narmin
Post Number: 5
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 07:41 pm: | |
Hello Edith,
Your daughter definitely sounds like she is suffering from an overall fear of going potty. Agreed, this fear may be complicated by a strong will. The good news is, she sounds like she has developed the control necessary to become trained. So, I have a few suggestions to help you achieve a potty trained child.
First, I realize she made the choice to use the big toilet, and it is more convenient, but consider your daughter's resistance. She might be more comfortable using a potty chair. Do you at least use a potty seat for her? If not, there are many to choose from that will give her a feeling of comfort and security. This may be a simple solution to her inability to relax and overall resistance to take a potty break.
Next, it is critical that you do not revert back to diapers or even pull-ups once you start training. If you do, you send your child a mixed signal. Kids will think it is O.K. to use a diaper once you put them back in it. Realize from her perspective you were asking her to go on the potty, then you agreed to put her back in diapers, and now you expect her to know she should use the potty again. Intelligence aside, all children need consistency, especially when it comes to potty training.
It is so hard but this is the critical point which requires the most stamina on your part. She knows that big girl pants equate to going on the potty and diapers equate to being given permission to use them. So, don't give her that signal.
Does your daugther look up to her older sister? Try encouraging your little one to be like her big sister.
And as far as rewards go, a child's currency changes frequently. Especially at the young age of three. So as a parent we have to be on constant watch to know what really makes our kid tick. Pick the wrong reward and it won't help. Pick a privilege that they will have access to anyway and it won't work. Your child has to understand and believe the only way she is going to get that reward is to produce the desired behavior, that being using the potty.
Give it another go-around and let me know how it turns out. I wish you the best of luck!
Narmin |
Anonymous
| | Posted on Monday, September 10, 2007 - 11:53 pm: | |
Hi! My daughter is 27 months old and has a definite fear of releasing on the potty. I started training her a week ago and she just will not go on the potty. She has been wearing underwear for the week and consistantly tells me when she has to go. We will go to the bathroom, pull down her underwear and she will sit until she feels she is going to release. She then stands up, and pulls her underwear back up. Five minutes later, she will once again tell me that she has to go and the process continues. She ends up holding her pee and doing the potty dance for hours. She is in so much pain that she cries hysterically and wants me to hold her constantly. If I don't hold her or I put her down for a few seconds she cries uncontrolably. So there's really nothing I can do, but wait for her to go. I try to distract her a million different ways, but nothing works. She ends up urinating all over me when she just can't hold it any longer. I read the posting and response to "She holds her pee for hours" and our situation seems very similar. I know you suggested to not go back to diapers or training pants because it will confuse her, but I can't let her go on in this manner. I don't think it is healthy or emotionally appropriate to allow this to continue. If I stop the training process for a month or so, do you think it would be okay to go back to diapers or to start using training pants? I have never used training pants. We went from diapers to underwear. I don't want to confuse her because I have been telling her to use the potty for the past week, but she is just in so much pain when she holds it. What do you suggest? |
erica fenner
New member
Username: Shortstuff71
Post Number: 1
Registered: 06-2008
| | Posted on Monday, June 16, 2008 - 11:38 pm: | |
Hi, writing to you about my boyfriends 4 1/2 old son who he has full custody of. We have no problem with him going pee. It's going poo on the toilet. He used the toilet for a week but went back to going in his pants. My boyfriend had no choice but to put him in pull ups. Few weeks ago we caught him just before he poo'd in his pants, put him on the toilet. My boyfriend positively coaxed him to go on the toilet ( by the way has tried everything to get him to use the toilet) through the screaming and the crying his son told us he was scared of going on the toilet. My question is what to do next, he starts school in 2 ½ months. I know consistency is key and we have not been due to weekend running around and day care. He is starting kindergarten in 2 1/2 months so we are open to suggestions..thanks |
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