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Anonymous
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 12:00 am: | |
I have a grandson that will be 5 next week.He just won't potty train. His Mom keeps making so many negative comments and really punishes any accidents that he'll never train.
I took him to the doctor myself and it was his belief that there is psychological resistance there.He did not test for any physical problems.
Occassionally my grandson will let us know he has to pee but, he could care less if he messes his pants, just keeps playing.
The daycare refuses to let him wear pull ups, many times he has to clean up his own mess; which only gets messier. Several times the school calls his parents to come take him home.His Mom has no patience and at home has regressed to pull ups.
If I notice pull ups at my home I change him to under wear and tell him he doesn't need "those" any more. I don't punish for assidents. While changing him we talk about going potty and how he has to let someone know and we'd be glad to help him.
His Dad has been very patient but,after a tiring weekend asked if I could help find some good advise or help.
Since it's family I only say half of what I'd like to say. I don't want ties cut off from this precious child.Some times I wish The Nanny would step in. The responsibility of putting the childs needs first just isn't sinking in. Very often they just take the easy way.
Help would be very much appreciated.
Heart broken, Grandma |
Narmin Parpia
| | Posted on Saturday, November 11, 2006 - 05:26 pm: | |
To: Grandma of 5 year old
Thank you for your inquiry.
I have pondered over your question for days, trying to find just the right words to encourage and advise you. But unfortunately, no matter what words I choose there's just no easy answer.
Your grandson's situation is a tough one. Although I agree with you that it is best to eliminate pull-ups all together, it must be difficult for him to adjust to the two different potty training environments, not to mention the school environment.
It is true that most 5 year olds are completely potty trained, but it is ultimately up to the parents to get their son evaluated and get him help. I suspect there are other issues at play. Any break in his routine, or major events occuring could be the culprit. Happy events such as the birth (addition) of a new child, a move into a new home, or even mommy deciding to change her career (to stay home or return to work), could set off a period of resistance. Then there's the not-so-happy events such as divorce, financial problems, or death of a close family member. Children are resilient but not immune to the pain that results from such events.
I recommend supporting the parents as much as possible by being consistent with their routine. Think about what else might be going on in your grandson's life. Encourage your son and daughter-in-law to have their son evaluated. Refer them to our website for ideas on how to reward and encourage their son. And continue being the loving, caring grandma you are.
Good luck!
Narmin |
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