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(Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 03:50 pm: | |
I'm a single parent at my wit's end with the whole potty training ordeal. It's a constant subject of conversation in my household and family. I have darling 3 year old twin boys that have absolutely zero interest in the potty. On very rare occasions, the "younger" son will volunteer to pee-pee in the potty when he wakes up in the morning. Other than that, they avoid using the potty like The Plague. My "oldest" son (oldest by 2 minutes) will wet or soil himself and bring me all the tools needed to change him, i.e. training pants, and/or pullups, wipies, diaper cream, powder, etc. He also often mentions that he's "just a baby" and "hates pullups and needs a baby diaper". Is it just some form of attention that he's needing?
They both give the excuse that they were too "busy" to go to the bathroom. I honestly feel like a failure because there is never enough of my time to go around. One child is always left waiting in line to use the potty or they both have an accident and one child has to wait. Between play time, cooking, dinner time, cleanup time, more play time, more cleanup time, bath time, brushing teeth, packing for daycare the next day, and settling down routine at night it barely seems like there's time for a daily discussion about potty rules and an indepth exploration of the bathroom. They are mostly fascinated with watching the entire roll of toilet paper sink and then trying to flush it. Boy is that ever a mess!
I have read on your site about the readiness signs. However, my boys have never gotten up in the morning or from a nap and been dry...they have never been close to being dry. Does this mean that they are not ready? We have books about children learning to use the potty and a video about their favorite cartoon character using the potty...even a Big Boy Star Chart. On the star chart, when they got 5 stars by using the potty 5 times, I was going to take them to a special dinner and to the park. Neither of them made it to 5 before they found the chart and ripped it to pieces. It's like a war that never ends. They have to use the potty eventually, right? I don't know what else to do and I am soooooo tired of hearing "Mommy, I pee-pee'd (poo-poo'd) in my pants". I'm one tired Mom! Please help!! |
Narmin Parpia
New member
Username: Narmin
Post Number: 20
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 22, 2008 - 12:02 pm: | |
Dear Mom,
There's relief on the horizon so don't give up! You are absolutely right, your son's will eventually learn to use the potty. So how do you keep it together until then?
Your instinct to assess your sons' developmental readiness was a good first step. But physiological development (bladder and bowel control) is just one part of puzzle. And although it is an important piece of the puzzle, your sons can succeed at potty training even if they have only begun to show progress in this area. For example, if they are not having a bm at night, and occasionally have a dry diaper for an hour or two, you can effectively "check" this box even if they don't stay dry overnight.
But how about the other signs of readiness? Are your sons' motor skills developing to a point where they can pull their pants on and off? How about cognitive and verbal skills? Emotional and social awareness?
Here's something else to think about. Have you considered buying two potty chairs so there is no waiting? After all, the goal is to get them to be independent so if each of them has their own chair you could feasibly get to the point that they won't need your help at all.
Other thoughts I have pertain to your son's comments about being "just a baby", "hating pull-ups", and "needing a baby diaper". Do your children get much exposure to older children? There comes a time when even our little ones want to be "grown up". Encourage your sons by talking about the benefits big boys have such as wearing big boy underwear, drinking out of big boy cups, reading big-boy books, and sitting in big boy seats or car seats. The idea is to put a positive spin on being a "big boy", and play down the idea of being "just a baby".
And one last thing; our children are very perceptive. They pick up on all kinds of emotions and stress that we often don't even realize is there. So, be sure you are modeling the importance of the potty training task. Show your boys that it doesn't matter how busy you (or they) are, it's an important task. Reassure them that they (and you) can come back to whatever else is going on, be it a TV show, a toy they are playing with, or some other activity. It helps to make it clear to their little hearts and heads that it will only take a minute and then they can resume what they were doing.
All this to say, when your sons are ready, they will begin to show signs. Our job as parents is to encourage them, build up their confidence, and watch for signs of readiness. Then we need to make sure they have the tools and training to become independent.
I hope you find this information helpful. Please let us know how it goes.
Narmin |
pam black (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, February 19, 2009 - 11:40 am: | |
I have a 3 and half year boy who I just recently learned has a language processing disorder. He also has other developmental delays with gross and fine motor skills. Having said all that, I believe he is ready for potty training as he has made some progress with peeing in the toilet. He sometimes will initiate this on his own but most of the time I have to initiate. He refuses to poop in the potty. His language skills have just recently emerged enough that he is able to tell me that he needs to be changed after he's already soiled his pull-up. I tried using the padded underwear sold on this site and he doesn't seem to mind being wet and will not tell me if he's dirty...so this is confusing. It also makes me mad when I have to keep cleaning up the mess. With his developmental delays, I have tried to keep things in perspective and tried to be more patient. He has a hard time pulling up his own pants and maintaining his balance when standing on a stool to pee. We started training sitting down for both peeing and pooping and had no success until he realized (by watching his father) that he could pee standing up. I have also tried rewards and disciplines for pooping (taking away movies which seems to be his favorite thing). The reward (one piece of gummy candy) only works for peeing. What suggestions do you have? With his delays, I am considering the resources for children of special needs but part of me just thinks he is just being stubborn. He will say things like "I am too big and I am not a baby" when I have to change his poopy pull-up...which are things I have said to him. So, I believe he does understand. I may have done damage by scolding him but I have been at this for 6 months and a little frustrated. I am wondering if we'll ever get there and if he'll be going to school having accidents. I am a bit discouraged...but trying to stay steady with patience. Any other suggestions? |
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