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Michelle Velez-Ferrara (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 05:56 pm: | |
Would welcome anyone's opinion...my son is 3 1/2 years old, very very independent. He knows how to go potty #1, will actually go on occassion, usually in the morning, however most times he seems just to be lazy and won't go during the day, he will go in his Pull-ups all day, and then when he's has too much in them, he will change them himself. One time I told him the only way he will get a treat throughout the day is if he went, well do you know he went potty ONLY when he wanted to have a treat, other than that he wet his Pull-ups-so I feel he has control over it. I have tried wearing underwear only, he will have an accident and change his clothes by himself without telling me, I will only know because he leaves the clothes in the room, or I notice that he's changed and question him.
He refuses going #2 in the potty at all. He will literally hide in his room to go #2. Then refuses to let me know, I find out because I haven't seen him in awhile as he continues hiding because he knows he did #2. I usually walk into his room and the smell gives him away. When asked why he won't go in the potty #2, he says he can't or that he is afraid. I don't feel it's legitimate, seems to be more like he trying to power-play with me and wants to do it on his own terms, but he isn't even trying. He's never had a problem with pain, or a bad experience that I can remember, and as stated earlier he goes #1 no problem (when he wants to).
I have tried using a reward system, punishment, offering bribes, going naked, going back to diapers rather than using pull-ups, nothing seems to work to make him want to be consistent throughout the day. He does not seem bothered at all by being wet or dirty all day long.
I've have 2 other older children, a girl and boy-his older brother only 2 years older, so he saw him being potty-trained, figured he catch on quicker having seen him go through it. None of them were ever this challenging or stubborn to go potty or even try. As stated earlier, he is very independent and loves to call the shots. Is there something I am missing?? What should I try next? I need something to work soon, I would like him to start daycare part time and most won't until he is trained since usually daycare babies are trained early on! |
Debbie Cannon (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 06, 2010 - 08:31 pm: | |
We are having the same problem with my 4 year old grandson. He will use the potty for #1 but refuses to use it for #2. We have done the same thing you have done and nothing is working if you have figured out what to do please email me and give your suggestions. Thank You |
Mendy Hayhurst (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, May 13, 2010 - 04:15 pm: | |
Yup!! I hear ya girl, we are also going through the exact same situation. Our 3 yr old even say's the same thing when asked why he wont...he just say's "because I can't." After reading your story I was really hoping to scroll down and get the answer to help our situation...and instead just found more comments on people in our same situation. I am really frustrated and am trying really hard not to give up. If you get some answers that actually work PLEASE tell me. Thank you~ |
Mendy Hayhurst (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, May 13, 2010 - 04:23 pm: | |
Hi, me again.... I just found this article on this same site. Interesting concept and it makes sense to me. Still not sure about the complete solution though. If I find more I'll be sure to post it.
Bowel Movement Resistance - Not pooping in the potty!
So what do you do if you child will not go or refuses to go poop in the potty or the toilet.
I hear from moms who tell me that their child will pee in the potty - so in fact the child will urinate in the potty consistently, but when it comes to bowel movements - they simple will not go.
They will have a bowel movement in their pull ups or underwear, but not in the potty or the toilet. No way. Nothing doing.
So what should parents do in this case?
There are three things you can never make your child do:
* Eat
* Sleep
* Go potty!
If you have read the article on the best rewards for potty training, you know that your child wants to do what you want. S/he really does want to poop in the potty because s/he knows that, that is what you want and not only will it make you the parent really proud of your child, but the child will feel that s/he has accomplished something worthy because s/he met his/her parents' expectations. So that indeed is the good news.
So what is stopping your child from pooping in the potty? There could be several reason why your child is resistant to potty training and to BM training.
Dr Greene, who is a pediatrician calls this the D3 cycle - discomfort, dread and delay.
Children may end up in this cycle because they had a negative or uncomfortable experience with bowel movement. This may have been because of constipation or change in diet or it could be a fear of the toilet and/or flusing or simply delaying a BM because they are too preoccupied with something else way more interesting.
What ever triggered the start of this - the result of this negative or painful experience is that the next time the child has the urge to poop, s/he will delay going because s/he knows that it hurts. The delay leads to discomfort. The discomfort to dread and the dread leads right back to delay.
In order to move forward, this D3 cycle must be broken.
So, sometimes going back to diapers can break the D3 cycle. The child relaxes, the stool get soft and the tension disappears. Bowel movements come regularly and without the protest. This is often when parents come looking for answers.
In the child's mind - they have decided that diapers are good - no pain with diapers and it hurts to go poop in the potty - so potties are bad.
Code: A-Potty-Training-Regression-BM |
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