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Message |
    
JennOram (Unregistered Guest)
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 11:33 pm: | |
My son has recently turned 5 years old. He was late to potty train, but is a champion at peeing in the potty at this juncture. Pooping on the potty is quite another thing.
He will tell me that he has pooped and does not like the feeling of having poop in his underwear, or a pull up.
In a recent effort, I've kept his bottom bare to see if it would make a difference. It has, and he readily pooped on the potty on his own on several occasions. I recently put him back into underwear and pants, and all progress has stopped.
Each occasion that he has successfully pooped on the potty has been positively reinforced. Each occasion that he has made a mess in his pants has been disapproved of to a point where favored toys have disappeared. So far as his pediatrician can tell, this is not a medical issue.
I have no idea where to go from here. Again, so long as his bottom is bare, he has no problem pooping on the potty. Once his bottom is covered, he will poop in his pants.
Any information or advice would be greatly appreciated. |
Narmin Parpia
Moderator
Username: Admin
Post Number: 181
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 07, 2009 - 05:26 pm: | |
Hello Jenn;
Thank you for your post, and I fully understand your frustration. We get many concerned parents on the message board with very similar issues.
So, the first thing I suggest for you to do is take a deep breath and relax a moment, because your not alone, and your going to need to focus, and prepare yourself, because this is not a quick fix issue. The bonus of following the tips and suggestions below is, not only should your child develop a healthy potty habit, but you will also learn more about your child and how they cope with certain issues.
The basic issue here that I can see from what you have stated is that your son has and is capable of having Bowel Movements in the potty on a regular basis as long as he does not have underwear or pants restricting him, but he when he does have to wear pants or underwear he makes no attempt at using the potty.
The good news is that it does not sound like he is Withholding due to pain during bowel movements or fear of the toilet. Since, these are not the issues it seems that the issue we are having is with control, not muscle control but parent control.
Children are very clever. Remember when your child was a newborn and the discomfort of hunger caused them to cry, which led to them learning that if they cry you would come running. This sounds to be the root cause of the issue, there is something your child is getting out of not going to the bathroom unless he is bottomless.
I highly recommend the book Constipation, Withholding And Your Child: A Family Guide to Soiling And Wetting which lists methods on how to spot and address control issues.
The book goes into detail about how to approach your child's issue in a positive and effective manner. It provides stories you can tell your child to help them to understand why soiling is unacceptable, and re-assures you that your child does want to make you proud by doing what you want them to do, they are just dealing with a sort of tug-o-war in their little minds.
Again, you are not alone in this matter, I myself experienced a similar situation with my daughter, she learned that she could gain more Mommy Time by having accidents and having me bathe her and clean her. Once, I realized what was driving her I set aside a little more quality time with her and all our potty trouble went away.
The key is to learn what motivates your child to act in certain manners and to reassure them that you are there to help them through the issue. A good way to reassure them is to play on the team effort. Instead of making it his issue make it both of your issues and that you will get through it together.
Please let me know if I can help any further.
Monika |
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