Terrified to let the pee or poo go into the potty

Narmin, it's so good to hear from you.

I'm at my wits end and can't seem to get an answer to my question from anyone..and trust me..I'm really trying!

I'm hoping you may have some advice for us. We are trying to potty my grandson, Gavin, who will be 3 in July. I used your book with great success in that he did very well in understanding the potty, what's it's for and even when to use it. he can pull his pants down all by himself too.

Problem we're having is that he's terrified to let the pee or poo go into the potty! I mean absolutely terrified! He will hold everything until he practically explodes and that's got to be so uncomfortable for him! He's never had a bad experience that should make him feel this way.

We've backed off of his training for a few weeks but don't know what to do to get him over this fear.

Suggestions please?

We'd really appreciate any help you can give us! Thanks so much!

Sharon Griffith


I am just learning to drive face book! I am glad that my book helped you out and am sorry to hear about your struggle.

We hear from MANY parents who struggle with fear and/or unwillingness to go in / on the potty versus going in the diaper / training pants.

The problem with this is - NO ONE seems to know why this is happening. Physicians and Pediatricians don't seem to have an appreciation for this issue.

Unfortunately, the answer isn't simple. There isn't one answer that I can give you to help you with this. Since every child is different, every child needs an individual solution.

So - what I can offer you is some tools that you can try and hopefully - you will be able to work out a solution for your grandson.

Here is a link on our website - on Potty Training Problems - where we have 3-4 different section just on this topic and here is the article on treating functional encopresis (if that is what he has).

Spend some time reading - and then since you know you grandson the best, come up with some things that you think will work for him, then try the list till you find your solution - AND you will.

Something will "click" for him and you guys will be off to the races!!
Good Luck

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